Mandi

2006-01-27T13:02:00.000-08:00

http://www.xanga.com/indoorgirl8

hahaha

2005-12-02T19:34:00.000-08:00

1) Ziploc Bags -- are Male, because they hold everything in, but you can
see right through them.

2) Copiers -- are Female, because once turned off, it takes a while to
warm them up again. It's an active reproductive device if the right
buttons are pushed, but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.

3) Tires -- are Male, because they go bald and are often over-inflated.

4) Hot Air Balloons -- are Male, because, to get them to go anywhere, you
have to light a fire under them, and of course, there's the hot air part.

5) Sponges -- are Female, because they're soft, squeezable and retain
water.

6) Web Pages -- are Female, because they're always getting hit on.

7) Subways -- are Male, because they use the same old lines to pick
people up.

8) Hourglasses -- are Female, because over time, the weight shifts to the
bottom.

9) Hammers -- are Male, because they haven't changed much over the last
5, 000 years, but are handy to have around.

10) Remote Controls -- are Female. Ha! You thought they'd be male.
However consider this -- it gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without
it, and while he doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he keeps
trying!

"I love Portland: the weather is cold and the women are hot"

2005-11-12T14:56:00.000-08:00

Yuck. From missing an advising appointment to falling off a porch, let's just say this week sucked.

However, there was a highlight: I saw Rascal Flatts in concert (with Blake Shelton and Keith Anderson). And let me just say it was by far THE MOST FUN concert I have ever been to. Definitely a good end to my horrible week. But Alli...I wish you could have been there.

But now I'm back in reality where there are papers to be written, chapters to be read, an apartment to be cleaned. Only 3 more weeks and this stupid crappy term will be over. Thank God.

Yay for a cancelled 2pm class

2005-11-03T14:06:00.000-08:00

I have a 96 hour weekend. BAM.

Whatever will I do?

Pics for you :)

2005-11-02T23:19:00.000-08:00

Jess and I, after getting ready

Jess and I w/ Eric (he was half man/half woman for Halloween), who threw the party

And finally, Jess and I after being attacked by Eric's kisses.

Supposedly Eric has WAY more pics and he should be sending them to me soon...so if you're lucky I'll post those too ;)

Halloween!!!

2005-10-30T18:54:00.000-08:00

I just bought a super hot 80's dress. Like, way hot. Short, bright, big bow in the back. There will be "frizzled hair" (according to Dan), side ponytails...I cannot WAIT for tomorrow night!

I hate when that happens

2005-10-26T18:06:00.000-07:00

For 5 minutes today, I thought the word "over" did not exist.

The world is so messed up

2005-10-26T00:54:00.000-07:00

So I did a favor for a friend, and now her friend is out to get me. In a threatening way. All I did was end an email. I'm scared.

It's only 1am...

2005-10-25T00:59:00.000-07:00

There are 8 stop signs (is that one word or two?) between my apartment and Jeff's house. Eight. We live about 2 minutes from each other. It's ridiculous.

While we're on the subject of Jeff, he just told me "Good night...well, I guess it's only midday for you" at approximately 12:45am.

I love it.

Some things to look forward to

2005-10-24T00:49:00.000-07:00

So many good things coming up. Rascal Flatts/Blake Shelton/Keith Anderson concert, Steven Curtis Chapman/Mercyme concert, 21st birthday, drinking coffee again...OH it's so exciting! And the end of classes this term is only 6 weeks away :)

So...did I mention I can drink coffee again in 26 days?

123456789

2005-10-21T02:24:00.000-07:00

Yeah, it's been a while. Life is crazy. But not at the same time. Make sense? Nope.

My goals for the weekend are to study/do homework and clean. 2 goals, not too bad. However if you saw my actual to-do list where I wrote each assignment you would see how pathetically long it is and that if I actually took the time to complete my to-do list I would probably have to sit at my apartment all next week. This is because I have developed a horrible disease called laziness in which I don't do ANY reading or homework if I can get by without it. Horrible, I know. But what can you do? I'm just not MOTIVATED and I can't focus.

I can't focus because I haven't had coffee in 14 days. That's right, today marks 2 weeks since I have enjoyed the substance, thanks to my addiction project. Yeah the one piece of school work I'm doing is the one that's hurting me the most, unfortunately for me. But I'm proud to say I'm one of the very few in my class who has managed to stay away from their substance or behavior. I'm up for the challenge. Only 4 weeks to go. Ugh.

What I learned this week: my dislike for vodka must come from the fact that it's made from potatoes (which I'm not a big fan of). Thanks Professor Thomas.

Fave quote: "You can't sell mixed drinks in Monmouth? Come to my house." ~ Dr. Hughes

A very quick briefing...

2005-09-27T15:52:00.000-07:00

wow, it's been forever. Life has been crazy...

Canada was good. Quite an experience. Ask if you want details.

Last day of work I cried. It was weird. I guess cause that really meant summer was ending, since work represented my summer. However I loved work, and loved working with my staff. So that was that...

Then I went to a concert with Vanessa. Scary 24 hours of hotmail not working and not being able to get my tickets...called ticketmaster, had them sent to my mom, and all was well. So for the record, hotmail sucks. Oh, and not having the internet sucks as well. Cause I'm in the library...so not cool.

Then I moved.

Then I played Halo with Josh, Rick, Kelly, Glen...good times. It felt good to be back in Landers, although sad to be in the staff office and not part of staff...sad times. But Halo was good! And there will surely be many more late nights to come.

Then school started. I LOVED my classes, minus linguistics. That class spins my brain in circles and will surely kick my butt. However, I LOVE my lit class, and my health class, and my teaching kids dance class, and my folk/square dance class. Good times.

Okay, must do homework , or at least pretend I'm a good student for the time being.

Woot!

2005-09-17T19:40:00.000-07:00

Canada, here I come.

Here's to my evening

2005-09-13T00:37:00.000-07:00

I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut
My weakness is that I care too much
The scars remind us that the past is real
I tear my heart open just to feel

:P

2005-09-11T19:25:00.000-07:00

Argh.

If you wanna know why, ask.

bummer

2005-09-06T00:29:00.000-07:00

If you're looking for torture, spend 14 hours in the car with your mother. Then try to put together a solid oak bed frame and headboard after carrying it up a flight of stairs, 'cause you will both be in a great mood after that.

Then come home to a dent in your car. Then realize you have no friends left in this town 'cause you go to a stupid school that starts a month after everyone else.

Then you complain to your blog.

heh

2005-09-03T19:15:00.000-07:00

Today as my head dangled out one of the office windows on the second story at work I realized how much I love my job. Where else would I be picked up, twisted upside down and nearly shoved out a window? Today was a glorious 8 hour shift of fun, laughter, and teasing. I've never been quite so hyped up at work and I'm not really sure why...perhaps because it was a certain someone's last day. Regardless, I was happy, I was energetic, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. And...teasing Eric is way fun.

School starts in 23 days.

:)

2005-08-29T00:47:00.000-07:00

Eric: "Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?"
Me: "uhhh..."
Eric: "Fo drizzle."
Don (boss) : "Snoop what?"

Jessica: "You were born in Toledo...Ohio?"
Me: "No, Toledo Oregon."
Jessica : "Where is that?"
Me: "You know the random Dairy Queen, on highway 20..."
Jessica: "Oh, I thought that was a really random place for a Dairy Queen."
Me: "There's a little more than that. But yeah, that's where I was born."
Teghan: "YOU WERE BORN IN THE DAIRY QUEEN???"
Eric: "Yup. They just spanked her and then double dipped her."

Oh dear

2005-08-26T23:17:00.000-07:00

I finally finished the scrapbook. It's awesome. It rocks my world. All the high school dances I went to in one beautiful masterpiece of a book. It's wonderful. I only had to stay up until 2am to finish.

The power went off at work last night. That sucked. The computer backup system kept beeping. Don called and said I could leave if it was off more more than 30 minutes. It came on 29 minutes later. Seriously. Then I called Eric to help me fix the computer junk and we talked for over 20 minutes. He said I'm adorable :)

Tonight I saw Thomas and Kiva for the last time for a while, as they are off to college. So basically all my of my closest friends officially live far away. Good times. Real random...but as I left Kiva's and got in the car, the song "My Sister" was on...I think Kiva will understand :) Specialness.

So now that my scrapbook is done, and my friends are all gone...I'm gonna...watch Golden Girls. Cause all I have left to do is laugh at 4 old women. But what's REALLY pathetic is that I own 2 seasons on dvd and in the past week I've watched almost all of both of them...oh sad. Most was while I scrapbooked, but still. Soon I'll have to switch to Friends. Maybe I'll go start my new scrapbook - Dance, not to be confused w/ high school dances. Dance as in ballet, tap, jazz. That should be nice and time consuming. Since the ONLY person left for me to hang out w/ lost their freaking cell phone and apparently lost themselves w/ it because they are unfindable. Bah.

K...I'm off! SOMEONE CALL ME!!!

Good night, Rose. Go to sleep, honey, Pray for brains.

2005-08-23T01:18:00.000-07:00

Oh how I love the Golden Girls.

Well here I sit in Nakiva's house, alone. It's kinda weird to spend 3 days in someone else's house without them being here. Not to mention slightly scary. I know, I'm pathetic. I get scared pretty easily. So every little noise creeps me out. Thankfully I have two dogs to keep me company...although one of them is driving me bonkers. She follows me around like a lost puppy...then again she probably is lost without the one person who is actually nice and patient with her. But she's not driving me as nuts as I thought she was. Only when she licks my clothing.

So what else is new...I rode the rocket last Friday with Nakiva. Since it was my boss who was driving that day, you can just imagine how much he picked on me and did his best to soak me. He succeeded. But it was a blast.

Sunday I went to a family reunion. I had my doubts about how fun it could possibly be. But it turned out way better than I expected. My dad's side of the family is interesting. Most of them live in Waldport/along the Alsea river. So yes, they are a little on the hickish side...maybe a little old fashioned...but there's something different about them. Most of them are happy...they are happy with what they have. They enjoy life no matter what. I love being around people like that. For the first time in several years, my dad and his 3 siblings were together. It was fun to see them together. I got to meet Uncle's Bruce's new girlfriend, who is adorable. And it's so amazing to be around my Uncle Rob since he has cleaned up. He's out of rehab and doing great. I can't even describe what it's like to watch someone you love fall into the temptations of drugs and alcohol. To watch their life fall apart, their marriage split...it's so sad. My uncle aged so quickly. He looked so old, so helpless. Then he finally put himself in rehab and oh my goodness, what a miracle. Him and his girlfriend Brenda have turned their lives around. Their baby Lucy is so adorable and I think it was Brenda getting pregnant that made them turn their lives around. Whatever the reason, I'm so very thankful. Brenda has 3 other daughters, and Rob has 2 other young girls, as well as a son and daughter from his first marriage that are both older than me. Anyways...it's just amazing to be around them. Then finally there is my aunt Lisa. She's an interesting person...usually she is there to make people try to feel sorry for her. She talks about how she doesn't have any money (although she has money to dye her hair and do her nails and go tanning) and how nothing goes her way. But Sunday she was pretty normal. She has 3 girls, and the youngest is not quite a year old...SO ADORABLE! So between Lucy and Jersey (yes Jersey, like the state) I got my baby fix. As for other people...6 of my grandma's siblings were there, as well as many of their kids, and their kids, and their kids...yeah thats a lot of people. But overall it was good times.

So its 1:15, I have to work at 10am, and I'm not tired...yay. And Belle is outside and hasn't scratched to come in which is kinda weird. Maybe I should attempt to wake up Spook to go outside with me to get her. Scary.

Okay here's a fun quote from Golden Girls since I'm watching it right now.
Blanche: What do you think of my new dress? Is it me?
Sophia: It's too tight, it's too short and shows too much cleavage for a woman your age.
Dorothy: Yes, Blanche. It's you.

Okay that's all :)

I'm still alive

2005-08-17T22:17:00.000-07:00

Wow it's been a while.

Let's see...quick recap. Last Friday I left for Sunriver w/ Jeff, Steve, Thomas, and Jeff's parents. Everyone failed to mention to me that another boy would be joining us. Yes, Mandi shared a bathroom w/ 4 boys for 3 days. Lemme just say that boys are gross. I saw way too many pairs of underwear and smelled way too many nasty things. Overall, the trip was fun. It was fun getting to get to know Mark (random boy cousin I didn't know was coming) since I haven't ever spent time around him. Plus lots of fun times was spent on the river kayaking and riding sea do's. AND Mandi got Dutch Bros on the way home! :) :) :) One quick fun story: We're playing Cranium and it was a club cranium so both teams compete. Dean and I were representing our teams. We had to draw a convent and have our teams guess. Well we went on for at least 10 minutes and neither team could guess...so finally we give up and Dean goes "it was covenant" and I was like "uh no...coN-Vent" and Dean was like "oooooh...maybe that's why my team couldn't guess it." Good times. He said something else at dinner that night that made me choke on my strawberry shortcake but I can't remember what.

Let's see...got back late Monday and since then...I've been working and hanging out w/ friends. Shelley was in town so I got to see her. Hung out w/ Nakiva as well last night. Today I got to see Megan, Ashley, Heather, Shelley, Kellen, and Mike - what a night! It was way fun. Megan and I have more fun plans before she leaves for school and I have plans in the making with Ashley as well. It's so fun to see friends from high school...we have this ability to pick up where we left off and just have fun. I love it and I totally cannot wait for my high school reunion, even though its quite a ways off.

Okay this is a pretty lame summation of what I've done but I felt like typing something quickly before I start cleaning up my extremely messy room.

Peace out

so many feelings

2005-08-11T23:46:00.000-07:00

Tonight was fun. Random video scavenger hunt-loved it. I love being random. I was w/ Steven and Thomas...so yeah, interesting group. I never want to be w/ thomas in that kind of a tight space again (we were both in a dryer...yeah) but it was way fun.

Then I had to say bye...yucky.
This is in honor of my Allison:

LUKE: What's that? [He gestures at the counter.]
LORELAI: My pretty, pretty face?
LUKE: That's a Weston's coffee cup.
LORELAI: Is it?
LUKE: You bring an enemy coffee cup in here on the day of our
reconciliation.
LORELAI [with a mobster accent]: At least I didn't ask you for a favor on this, the day of our daughter's wedding.
LUKE: Get that coffee out of here.
LORELAI: This is not coffee. This is a mocha chocolate caramel swirl-a-chino
with extra whip cream.
LUKE: That sounds disgusting.
LORELAI: It is. And if it was physically possible to make love to a hot
beverage, this would be the one.
LUKE: So apparently I've got competition.
LORELAI: No, no, no. It's just a fling. I'll finally spend the night with
it, but then when I see it in the morning with the caramel un-swirled and
the whip cream un-whipped, huh! Buh-bye.

Allison I'm gonna miss you so much...I heart you.

Venting...for me.

2005-08-09T22:23:00.000-07:00

No one ever reads this so I'm just gonna vent.

So I'm frustrated. And upset. And I don't really know why.

The last few days have been weird. Mainly weird at work and well, work is my life. I show up yesterday to find a girl I've never met working and we apparently have hired her. Then my boss of only a month hands me her car keys and has me run errands in her car. Random. There's so many little random stories that I don't even care to think about right now.

So why the frustrations? I feel like a wanderer right now. I'm between worlds and can't figure out where my home should be. I have friends all over, I have 2 homes...and things are changing all the time. I feel that my job has made me lose contact with people this summer because it's...random. It's hard to get ahold of people because my schedule constantly changes. My closest friends aren't here this summer, or are leaving soon. As for the boy...I haven't hung out w/ him since Saturday (I know that's only 3 days ago) and I have no idea what he's been doing. I was sorta hoping he'd call me. Maybe I should see how long it takes me to contact me...interesting.

But why am I really upset right now...is it because I'm stuck at home, tired but can't fall asleep so I'm frustrated and knowing that my friends are out having fun? Knowing one friend didn't return my call and 2 others have hung out w/out inviting me (like always) and the boy is who knows where...it's frustrating. I'm starting to feel like I'm in middle school again with all this drama I feel like I'm creating. But that's not my goal. I feel the way that I feel and I feel I have to express that. At least for my own sanity.

I miss school. I miss Landers staff...having 9 people around that I cared about and knew cared about me. I miss that...the closeness, the friendships. Life has become so complicated in the last 2 years. And my staff was something that could keep me grounded...

There. Now that I've typed this I can hopefully somehow go to work smiling so Eric doesn't have say "smile. you look prettier when you do" all day long.

lalalala

2005-08-04T22:45:00.000-07:00

So last night my car didn't start after work. I was like piece of trash. A bigger piece of trash than the freaking paper cutter at work that doesn't cut jack crap. So I called my daddy. And I said "daddy, my car won't start." He cracks some joke about how I probably don't have gas but agrees to come help me. It takes him like 20 minutes to make a 5 minute drive. He looks at the gas gage and freaks. Yes, I realize my car is on the E but seriously, I can go forever after that. So him and 2 guys push it down the hill and it starts just like that. Bam. It was cause I was parked on a freaking 45 degree angle of a hill. So did I get gas? Nope. I drove to Jeff's house and home again. But I did get gas before work. And I still had freaking 4 gallons of gas. Retarded.

So this happened at work:
Mother: "Ben, come look at what mommy wants."
Ben (probably 4 years oldish) : "lemme guess, it's choclate..."
That cracked me up.

So really this is my life. Work. People at work. My car after work. Meh...

Oh, so like my first week of work I got a phone call from a lady in Tennesee who wanted to know the population of black people here. It was way random. So she kept asking me about black churches, if I ever see black people, when the last time I saw a black person was...and I was laughing so hard but so was she. So today this black lady walks in and it reminded me of the phone call. Well, she made a boat reservation and it got to the point where I asked her how she found out about our company. She explained to me that she found us on the internet, but also called us asking random questions about black people...I lost it. I told her that was me...and we both laughed. She left and I laughed even harder...and I couldn't concentrate on anything for about an hour...oh boy.

So I have 2 days off work...YES! Lincoln City is where I'm headed tomorrow to SHOP! And Saturday I'm headed to Monmouth w/ Jeff and his dad to look for an apartment for him.

Then Sunday it will be back to work...and I'm still hanging on a slight glimmer of hope that I'll get the 12th-16th off to go to Sunriver...ugh. I NEED TO GO!!!

My mom just scared the crud outta me. I went to my room to get something and some random voice in the hall whispers "Mandi..." all weird like...and with my brother gone and my parents asleep I freak and scream. Well, it was my mother telling me she wants me to get a pair of shoes in LC for her. SERIOUSLY! Could she not wait until morning? Left a note? Given a girl some warning??? AAAH!

Okay...time to go be creative with the travel aide box I brought home from work. Woo hoo. Wish me luck.

2005-07-31T12:05:00.000-07:00

I went to Beaverton, Monmouth, and I worked. That's been the last 8 days of my life. Beaverton was fun - seeing Yendi, Fallon, and Nitty was AMAZING!!! To finally see staff members oh my goodness I freaked. Not to mention seeing Emily and Rick rocked too. I have a sweet pic of Rick and I :) The party was fun...yeah. Enough said. Fun.

Monmouth was fun too, I like hanging at my apartment w/ Jenny. Good times. We went to a movie and hung out.

So I still don't get the joke...something about a widow and wife's sister and Marie laughed really hard at me and yeah...I still don't get it...I pondered it at work and I thought I got it...then I decided no, I don't get it.

Then I came back to Newport and remembered why I love work so much *cough cough. Worked my last day w/ Leigh Anne and Ellie since it was BOTH of their last days today - sadness. I love both girls. Leigh Anne is toally on my level about everything, and Ellie is just so original and adorable you can't help but love her. So sad to see them go but I have both their numbers and hope to stay in touch.

Work was pretty fun today because my boss was gone the whole day and my next closest boss like person was gone yay! Eric is way more fun when the boss is gone.

I played some intense baseball tonight...on a video game, that is. Pathetic. But I was very into it and I got very upset. Just look for the bruises Jeff will have tomorrow...it's proof.

Okay I could go on for days about lots of stuff but I work in 8 and a half hours and I have a ton to do before then, hopefully including sleep!

a little ranting...well, alot

2005-07-23T01:13:00.000-07:00

Gosh I'm in such a bad mood right now.

It all seems so silly, why I am upset that is. But it's just one of those days where one little thing after another add up until you are going crazy. I got set off because I found out my mom made my favorite dinner foods on a night she knew way in advance I wouldn't be home. She's an awesome cook, and I was so excited about coming home for the summer and eating real food...but she hasn't cooked very much. Then I leave for one freaking day and she goes all out w/ a feast.

I know it's not a big deal in reality. So why am I blowing it up? Why am I so upset? I got mad when I got home and someone used all the toilet paper and didn't get a new roll. Just one of those days I guess.

Perhaps it all started w/ the unkept promises. Those are the worst. You're excited, you're anxious, and then you're shattered. Yup that sucks.

Or maybe it was the 2 hours I spent alone in my townhouse today while I was supposed to be spending special time w/ someone else...but they were somewhere else and I'm not even going there.

Then I came across something that I maybe shouldn't have come across. It hurt my feelings. Probably wasn't supposed to...but it did.

So perhaps I just feel like life cheated me today. I was robbed of the happiness I thought I deserved. A day off work, someone special to spend the day with...and I end up tired, disappointed, upset. The major lack of sleep last night probably started me off in a bad mood. Thanks to 6 hours of thunderstorms I slept maybe 3 hours this morning. Maybe. So I'm sure I'm cranky.

Now I want to brush my teeth but my brother has taken over the bathroom for probably the next hour so I'm stuck waiting.

Why can't I just see the good things? Why do I illuminate the bad? I try but the harder I try the more dull good things become and the more obvious the bad things become. So should I try harder? Maybe. Probably.
So scary moment. I went to post and lost this whole thing...great, I think to myself, it's just one more bad thing. So I go back on internet explorer, and randomly hit "Recover post" and it worked! So that's a good thing.

Good...at least something a bit more positive to end on.

quick update

2005-07-17T19:35:00.000-07:00

Something blogworthy happened to me recently. I was at work and a man walked in holding something under his arm. It appeared to be a snake...for those who don't know, I am DEATHLY afraid of snakes. Not kinda scared, not grossed out, but petrified of them. So I'm watching this man, trying to figure out if the snake is real cause its not moving...then the man goes "sorry, I brought my pet snake" and I was like whoooooa I'm outta here. So I kinda run away from the desk and into the clothing area. Leigh Anne saves my life by helping the man who wanted to book a seat on the Discovery later in the summer. So that means he's in there for like 10 minutes and I'm just eying his stupid boa constictor for the whole time. Then he decides to ask me to come pet it and I was like yeah you wish. My heart is pounding and I'm staying at least 15 feet away at all times with my eyes never leaving the horrible creature. The man keeps bugging me though to pet it and asked if it would help to see someone else pet it. Leigh Anne pets it and I slowly make my way to the counter, putting myself on the opposite side of the counter from snake man. I grab Leigh Anne's arm and hold for dear life, even though I've only known the girl about a week and only worked w/ her once. Then I reach out and almost touch it and then he starts curling his tail and I flipped. Leigh Anne kept telling me it was okay and FINALLY I touched it! Such a big step for me. Then I touched his belly side as well, willingly 3 or 4 times. Amazing.

Other than that...I work, I eat, I shower, I sleep. Yesterday I did go to a wedding, always fun...except when I have to sit by my brother and his friend and listen to their side comments...entertaining but not always appropriate.

Now off to visit Kiva and save her from her boredom of having the wisdom teeth pulled and just sitting at home waiting to feel better.

up and downs

2005-07-07T22:50:00.000-07:00

It was one of those days where something totally awesome happens and something totally cruddy happens.

A guy fell off a ladder at MDT today (marine discovery tours for future reference) and it sounded like the boat ramming into the building. It was scary but somehow he only broke his wrist. But still, it scared the crud outta me.

Then I got a $3000 scholarship! My mom flipped. Totally flipped. But that is pretty flipping sweet.

Now it's one last shot at the credit card online crap and then going to bed around 11/11:30. Lame. Very lame. Tomorrow is only a 9 hour day thank goodness.

sleep soon...

2005-07-06T22:56:00.000-07:00

I work 43 hours this week. With my calculations, between work, sleeping, eating, showering, and driving, I will have about 3 hours of free time a day in the next 4 or so days. That sucks.

In other news, I can't get my online account to work for my credit card. Just when I finally figure out my stupid password crap it tells me I've tried too many times and have to wait 24 hours. Which sucks cause that's 11pm tomorrow night and I hoped to be in bed by then. That's early...I was only staying up this "late" tonight to do this credit card crap UGH credit cards suck.

I bought 2 pairs of shoes though. That's something to smile about. I actually did have a great day, working with Eric makes me smile. He plays awesome pranks on the tourists.

I miss Denise. That's random...but I miss talking to her.

Good night.

So I'm an idiot

2005-07-04T22:31:00.000-07:00

Here is why I am an idiot.

My brother went camping this past weekend with a friend and my parents rode the Harley up to Washington, so I was here alone. I drove my car to work on Saturday and when I turned it off, it made a really strange buzzing noise. It was coming from the back of my car, like it was the speakers, but the noise went off even with my car turned off. So of course I'm like great, the weekend when my dad and brother are BOTH gone, which has never happened in the history of my life, something happens with my car. So I work 8 hours and return to still hear the noise, but luckily my car works. Same thing all day Sunday. By Sunday afternoon I have told at least a dozen people about this strange noise. My parents come home late Sunday night and this morning my dad goes out to look at my car. He crawled underneath, listened...then...opened my trunk. Well...I kinda forgot that I had the game Taboo in my car, and the box opened and the buzzer rolled out and was smashed against another box and was stuck on...yeah...and in two freaking days the battery didn't go dead. Amazing. But yeah...I feel awesome.

My feelings according to a song

2005-06-24T00:44:00.000-07:00

I remember how we'd fight,
make up, and laugh all night
Wish we were kids again
My sister, my friend

Do you think you could come and see me sometime soon?
We could just hang out like we used to

These are lyrics from one of my favorite songs right now, "My Sister" by Reba McEntire. And they fit a little situation in my life as well...not with my biological sister but with someone else I've considered as close as a sister for some time now...growing up sucks.

ranting

2005-06-21T14:58:00.000-07:00

Ugh.

People annoy me. People drive me nuts. People expect too much from me. People don't appreciate what I do. People are selfish. People are rude. People ignore me. People invade my bubble of space and privacy. People are too pushy. People don't know when to leave me alone. People hurt me.

Ugh.

picture!

2005-06-17T14:43:00.000-07:00

K, this is an experiment so work with me. Kellen has answered my question and I'm attempting to see if I can follow directions.

Last Staff pic

If this works...then Kellen is my hero :)

I've missed my boys

2005-06-17T01:51:00.000-07:00

Tonight was fun...well, for the most part. Thomas is back in town and I haven't seen him in a long time, and Gabe invited me to Muchas Gracias w/ the 2 of them, Jeff, and Steven. Of course I went and it was perfect, just like old times. It was like when Thomas, Gabe and Jeff were always together, and they loved including me as one of the guys. We were at Muchas for over an hour, it was great. Unfortunately, someone had to go and ruin the night and I ended up ditched at muchas...great ending. Luckily I did have my car but still...it sucked. Now I am home.

I got to hang out w/ Allison and Kiv in the last few days which is good. Tomorrow I believe Allison is going to dye my hair! It desperately needs to be dyed.

I have a lot on my mind right now, nothing that I'm really going to share here, although I do need to share it w/ someone...I just have to FIND someone...hmmm...

Working is great

2005-06-14T20:27:00.000-07:00

I had forgotten how dumb people are. The last two days of work have reminded me. Let's recap.

Tourist: "Why do the birds hang out on the docks?"
My thoughts: Because they want to...
Because sometimes they find food here...
Because there is no where else to go...
Because they want to watch the dumb tourists too...

Tourist: "I would like one scoop of caramel pecan praline and one scoop of mudslide in a regular cone."

I scoop the ice cream and hand it to him. Instead of taking the ice cream, the man stares at me but won't say anything. Finally...

Me: "Umm...did you want two different cones?"
Tourist: "Well, yeah, can't you see there are Two of US?" (By the way, he was the only person in the store.

Sorry I didn't see his imaginary friend.

There was one more good one but I can't think of it right now...but yeah work is great already.

The last 15 minutes...

2005-06-12T22:45:00.000-07:00

I sat on my bed, motionless, as he filled out the paperwork. The walls were bare, the room basically empty, and the faint smell of orange from the cleaning wipes lingered in the air.
"Are you glad you aren't going to be an RA next year?" Galen asked while he filled out the RCR.
"Yeah...I think so. I mean it's hard, but I know it's the right decision. I think I'd get too burned out, especially if I had a hall like this one again," was my meek reply.
"That's good," Galen said. "It's good you know your limits."
Once again the room was silent. As Galen tested the smoke alarm, I knew I would soon have to sign the papers. I slid off the edge of my bed, keys in hand. I watched him make a few last marks on the page.
"Keys?" He asked.
Slowly I reached out my hand as tears filled my eyes. It was too hard and they slipped out of my hand and to the floor. I quickly picked over to pick them up and placed them in Galen's hand. However his hand remained open, waiting for access keys as well. Slowly I handed this those and watched him fill out the numbers on the keys. I cried more.
Galen stepped back to give me room to sign. Slowly I signed the key card, unable to really see what I was writing. I slid that page to the side and signed the RCR, filling out my forwarding address as well. I stepped back and looked at Galen.
"Do you want your copy?" He asked.
"Sure..." I said, wanting to make this moment last as long as possible.
"You can frame it," Galen laughed as he ripped off my copy and handed it to me. "Do you want your emergency card too?"
"Nah," I said as I stood in still, crying.
Galen reached out to give me a hug as we sobbed. "It's okay," he said. "Everyone has done this so far. "
We walked out of the room and I looked up at him. "Do you want to shut the door?" He asked.
I was crying too hard to reply so I simply nodded and shut the door. I looked at Galen and his tear filled eyes and we stood motionless hugging for a long time. Finally we stepped apart and started leaving my hall. Down 3 flights of stairs and it was time for us to part. Another quick hug and I was walking to my car, trying to clear my eyes enough to see...it was an hour and half drive home.

I'm back home

2005-06-12T17:15:00.000-07:00

I'm home. I could talk about my last couple days at school, but I think evening typing it could make me cry. So for now, I will just not say anything until I am ready. It's good to be home...but I miss the 9 people who became such a big part of my life this year. I love you and miss you, Landers staff.

shit dude

2005-06-09T03:29:00.000-07:00

Why is it that the harder you try to be happy, the more shit blows in your direction?
You try to let go and realize there is life beyond the little things that go wrong...but then, bigger things start going wrong.
The people you care about most start letting you down the most.

I have to say the last week or so has been a very interesting one. I've had some great moments, sure. I've been trying to focus on the big picture lately and not get upset...but tonight a lot came crashing down and I don't know how to deal with it. Someone so important to me keeps disappointing me. No, more than that. Hurting me...I cry, I lay in bed sleepless, I can't concentrate...so why don't I give in? Let go? Something pulls me in...something keeps me from going free. What is it? Is it him? Or is it other things? Is it myself?

So yeah, I know, I have a final in 4 and a half hours. My mom is calling to wake me up in 3 and a half hours. This sucks like a lamesicle.

My life is a bittersweet symphony

2005-06-08T20:06:00.000-07:00

So about that final...I almost missed it. I woke up and rolled over to look at the clock and it read 11:30...awesome since I had a 12:00 final and had set my alarm for 9:15 to study. So no studying for Mandi and no lunch either...just 2 hours of hell taking my history final in the math building (ghetto school don't ask). But I survived...also finished my take home PE Final and found out I got 100% in my dance class overall. Nice.

Everything's almost over, it's weird...I picked up all my spring dance concert crud: dvd, pictures, etc. and got my last paycheck...went to the cafeteria and loaded up on drinks to use up my meal plan money...it's so bittersweet. I said goodbye to one of my good friends today. I'm still kinda in the clouds though. I've been there all week. One of the Public Safety officers tried to have a convo w/ me yesterday and he gave up cause I was so out of it. I've watched a lot of golden girls though and it's kept me entertained. Jenny took home a car full of crap for me yesterday, which was wonderful since I still have a room full of crap after 2 people have taken home stuff for me. I'm really random and all over the place, do I really have to take a final tomorrow ? Oh yes, that's right...I have a final 12 hours from now...8am. Seriously...I'm having my mom call and wake me up. I'd sleep through it otherwise. Last night of duty was interesting...I got a lot of calls on the duty cell all night... a few not so pleasant incidents to end the year with. Oh well. It's fine.

Okay off to work things out with someone...a conversation I am dreading...cause I'm in the mindset that I'm right (cause I AM) so I'm hard to deal with...what joy.

SMILE

2005-06-07T00:23:00.000-07:00

So I went to Waremart today. Basically it's like Winco but not open 24 hours. Go Independence. So Melissa and I just wanted to buy some food to make real dinner as opposed to valsetz cause well, quite frankly I'm sick of cafeteria food and so is Melissa and we said screw valsetz. So we went to Waremart, which turned out to be the land of the pissy people. What makes people so angry? The rain? Come on people, it's June!! School is almost out for everyone! It's almost summer!! Yet everyone walked around that store like a fricking zombie. People would just cut in front of us like we were going slow and then stop. Some guy behind us had us move over to get by and then stopped in front of us. It was good times. So we end up in line. Everyone there is grumpy too by the way. What do the checkers have to be pissed about, they don't even have to bag the darn groceries. All they do is scan your item and throw it on the conveyer thing. So I am bagging the dinner stuff while Melissa buys ramen. But instead of using the cool conveyer, Melissa starts just chucking her ramen down towards the bags. I was like "NO!!! you must use the cool conveyor!" and I laughed at her. We had fun, and even made one lady laugh! YES! Then I was cut off by some pissed off woman. Come on.

But the best part of this: I had the sweetest parking spot in the lot, right up front. I did not want to lose my spot. When we left, I found a cone and was like hmm...so I put the cone in the middle of my parking spot and left and BAM it was there when I returned...how wonderful :)

Here's a little something from the closing banquet. http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/pink_dancing_princess/detail?.dir=4ef5&.dnm=a29a.jpg&.src=ph
I'm not cool enough yet to figure out how to condense that into a little word people can click on to look at it instead of having that horribly long line of crap. I figured out how to do it in my AIM profile but no luck here so if you know how let me know.

So I have a final in 12 hours...dangit...

To bed I said

2005-06-06T03:55:00.000-07:00

I just spit mouthwash into my hair that was contained in a ponytail...
I get an A for effort and unique abilities.

In other news, I have a final in about 8 hours. Swell.
I have about 3 times as much stuff in my room that will fit in my car. Problem.
I only have 17 residents, while most other RA's have approximately 34. Funny.
Today was the RA end of the year banquet. Sad.
I go home in less than 5 days. Emotional.
No more school work in just over 3 days. Amazing.
I bought Golden Girls season two on dvd. Also amazing.

Leave me lovely comments...good morning, good night, and good day

The most to do in the shortest week

2005-06-03T22:27:00.000-07:00

Never again shall I attempt to move out, take 2 finals, do a take home final, make up a dance, and have the busiest time of my job all in the same week. It's pretty sketch. Very sketch.

Off to my 11:00 meeting. Because that's the only time for one. At least there is free food.

It happened 25 miles up the alsea...

2005-05-30T17:34:00.000-07:00

A 43 year-old man in pink pants is funny...especially when they belong to a 20 year-old.
2 dogs and 3 people throwing up is not funny.
Eating lots of food is fun.
Spilling a 24 ounce caramel macchiato (sp?) is not fun.
Going on a 4 hour adventure with my dad is entertaining.
Waking up at 6:45 for 3 days because your dad talks loud, not so entertaining.
Spending 3 days in the middle of nowhere with 19 other people is refreshing.
Coming back to school after a long weekend is not refreshing.

To sum it all up:
Starbucks coffee: $3.65
Gas to drive home 3 sick people: $2o
Memories made with crazy people: priceless

That was my weekend.

I feel as if I'm floating and I don't know why

2005-05-25T03:03:00.000-07:00

Wow...amazing night, that's all I can say. Finished with rounds around 12:30 and planned on coming to my room to maybe hang out with Jeff and/or write a paper...however...

Josh and I found margarita mix in the staff office, kinda funny...it was non acoholic but funny nonetheless. Somehow we ended up talking about alcohol and ended up over two hours later discussing every aspect of politics. I honestly can't describe how awesome it really was....we definitely have a lot of different beliefs, but we think the same ways, if that makes sense. I gained a lot of respect for him tonight, and I gained a lot of insight as well. We open mindedly listened to one another...now if only everyone else on this planet could do that.

So thank you Josh, for the talk and for listening to me, and for being one of the few people who totally and completely understand me and why I feel the way I do.

Great night...:)

sweet

2005-05-23T14:55:00.000-07:00

The sun is shining, I got into my teaching children dance class, and I consumed the best vanilla latte known to man today. Things are looking up. As long as I don't look at my to-do list.

Looking Backward...??? It stinks

2005-05-21T21:28:00.000-07:00

"The readiness with which men accustom themselves, as matters of course, to improvements in their condition, which, when anticipated, seemed to leave nothing to be desired, could not be more strikingly illustrated."

That is what I am dealing with right now. Shoot me now.

Off to eat cheese sticks and watch tv and pretend I don't have 2 quizzes, a 10 page paper, a 4 page paper, a 2 page paper, 2 videos to watch, and a book to read this week.

A little something before bed

2005-05-19T01:03:00.000-07:00

Time is winding down
Yet there is so much to do
Will it all get done?

I should be in bed
But sleep will wait for a bit
I have things to do.

I have two projects
Cinderella Ball is soon
and more programming.

Summer approaches
I long for home, friends, and time,
Time to use for ME!

Popcorn is ready
it's time to eat and relax
before a new day

where...

2005-05-17T01:30:00.000-07:00

I need someone to listen.
I need someone who really cares.
Where are you?

Weekend duty is gone forever

2005-05-15T02:53:00.000-07:00

Today was a flipping sweet day.

Unfortunately it started too early, at 10am. I had to unlock the lounges and when I got back to my room I decided my bed looked so appealing I just had to get back in it, even though I had to be at WOU Stock at 11. I rolled out around 10:57 and go over to the grove to discover it felt like a thousand degrees outside. But that's besides the point...
For the next 5 hours I served food to the individuals enjoying the free all day concerts. It was a pretty amazing event. There were several vendors, including Cold Stone who was selling ice cream for way cheap. Luckily I had the chance to get a break and change into shorts. I definitely got some sun today...a little red in places but it happens when the sun finally chooses to emerge on a day I'm outdoors.
A nice little surprise in the afternoon was Katrina Hogan calling me to say she was doing early registration here today and wanted to come say hi. It was nice to catch up w/ her.
Sooo after Woustock I came to my room and relaxed for a few hours before duty, my last night of weekend duty ever. I was surprised as Vanessa dropped in for a visit...two random visits in one day! But onward to duty for me...It was definitely the best last weekend duty night it could have been.
3 of Fallon's residents came down to hang out with us while we were watching Sex in the City. Josh and Steven joined us the the 5 guys started a game of trivial pursuit while fallon and I did rounds. As we ended girls a group of people were outside with jump ropes. They were attempting double dutch, which I hadn't seen anyone do in years. Let's just say my childhood came flooding back as I remembered my days on the playground jumping rope. Fal and I joined in on the fun for quite some time, then Yendi busted out some hula hoops and I was so engulfed I forgot about duty...Fal and I finally ended up in the staff office where the boys were still playing their game. Fal cut 3 girl's hair while I scrapbooked. Then it was back to back rounds since we were so late...but that gave us 2 more solid hours in the office. Officer Hutch and Melissa were in the office when we got back, and Josh and Mitch were still there as well. We all began randomly asking and answering the trivial pursuit questions, and I have decided I know alot about geography, capitals, and Monopoly. It was fun times though.
We ended the night with one last episode of Sex and the City and I organized all my scrapbooking supplies. Then our last set of rounds and we're finished!
The only low point of my day was seeing the big, nasty, disgusting snake. I hate snakes. Despise them. Am terrified of them. And some idiot brought one to WOU Stock...idiot. Everyone thought it was funny to make fun of me, come up behind me and scare me...it irritates me when people don't understand a fear is scary and isn't something to joke around with. Pisses me off beyond belief. I've definitely been jumpy all day because of it. Oh well...the day was still amazing. I am physically and emotionally exhausted but it's okay cause I relived my childhood today and loved it.
Now at approx. 3am I will either go clean my room, sleep, or hang out w/ jeff....

Fridays are good days

2005-05-13T16:11:00.000-07:00

5 goals for this weekend: Survive duty, survive programs, catch up on sleep, scrapbook, and work on my term paper.

Goal number one is easy. Duty isn't difficult. This is my last weekend of duty ever. That's almost sad. Hopefully I can complete goals 4 and 5 during duty since I will spend 16 hours in an office this weekend. Perfect time to scrapbook and do homework.

Goal number 2 is surviving programs, since I've participated in 3 already this week and have 2 more this weekend. It's pretty insane...everyone has been joking with me that this week must be easy compared to the last 2 weeks of midterms, papers, and the dance concert. But all these programs and duty nights have kept me quite busy.

Goal number 3, and my most important one is to sleep. Monday night I slept from around 4-9, Tuesday got off duty around 12:30, couldn't sleep till around 3ish and then got up at 7am for staff outing, Wednesday stayed up till after 4 and got up at 9, Thursday stayed up till 6 and got up at 9...wow. Not much sleep and tonight I'm up till 2 at least on duty...unfortunately I have to get up for a program tomorrow but if I don't sleep much tonight there will have to be a nap before duty tomorrow night or I will be screwed. Sunday night I'm showing the movie at 8 but that should be done by 10:30 or so and then HOPEFULLY I can get to bed early and start my week on a good night's sleep...but this is me that won't happen. I can dream right?

Well I'm gonna go relax a bit, eat, maybe clean my room before duty...oooh grr and clean orange juice out of my bag which sounds disgusting so I've been avoiding it.

Anyways...have a good weekend!

Wowsers ( I love that word)

2005-05-11T13:43:00.000-07:00

So this is a bit surprising to me...interesting though

Your Political Profile

Overall: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Social Issues: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 50% Conservative, 50% Liberal

Ethics: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 75% Conservative, 25% Liberal

How Liberal / Conservative Are You?

I'm actually more liberal than I thought...interesting.

The last week or so has been nuts...okay so this whole year has been nuts. Mostly in a good way ... this morning we had a staff outing at 7am. My alarm went off at 7am. I put the glasses on and walked downstairs. No getting dressed, no brushing the hair or teeth...I really didn't care after just a few hours of sleep. Breakfast was good though. I was in the giggly car as we made fun of Mel the whole way back...okay, Galen made fun of Mel and Jenni, Josh and I laughed because we were really too tired to do much else. After arriving at the school Jenni, Nitty, and I made a much needed Dutch Bros run.

I spent the rest of my morning scrapbooking, taking a break only to go to a group advising session and get my hold removed so I can register next week. I have tap in about 20 minutes ... then tonight is Take Back the Night! Should be a good program...tomorrow is class all day, BBQ and OC. Friday is Field Day and duty, Saturday Woustock which should be awesome, along with duty. Sunday I'm showing the movie in Warner...busy rest of the week. Pizza program was awesome last night though.

I miss tap! Well I still have the class for credit but I miss spring dance concert tap...soo soo fun! Can't wait for my dvd and cd of pictures to get here. I'm gonna try to get the group pic I took on here soon.

Favorite quote of the day so far: "Myspace is like a mass meat market." ~ Galen
anything is funny at 7am...

Thinking...

2005-05-07T02:29:00.000-07:00

It's hard finding out who your real friends are.
I'm going through major transitioning right now...
Can I change my major to dance?

:(

2005-05-06T21:45:00.000-07:00

2 nights down, 1 to go. That's so sad. I love my tap dance.

just to sum things up

2005-05-06T02:05:00.000-07:00

The good: Oh my word the dance concert rocked tonight! I hit my solo and had a blast. The audience loved it and we just hammed it up w/ each other. It was so sweet.

The bad: I don't really feel like a part of my staff right now...feel kinda alienated...

The ugly: ummm...the red eye my camera put all over my eyeballs in the pics I took tonight. Yuck.

Overall, tonight was a blast, I've loved having Amber stay w/ me, and the dance concert is rocking my world. It'll be sad when its over. Okay...night

A little (or lot) about me...

2005-05-04T04:21:00.000-07:00

10 of my favorite people
1. Jeffrey
2. Mommy
3. Daddy
4. Cody
5. Nakiva
6. Allison
7. Jenny
8. Denise
9. Megan
10. Megan (yeah there's 2 Megans)

9 of my favorite artisits
1. Tim McGraw
2. Kenny Chesney
3. Toby Keith
4. Shedaisy
5. Boyz II Men (Very old school but I've been listening to them a lot lately...random)
6. Usher
7. DC Talk
8. Newsboys
9. Casting Crowns

8 of my favorite movies
1. Dirty Dancing
2. Beauty and the Beast
3. Chicago
4. Just Married
5. Sahara
6. The Notebook
7. Fried Green Tomatoes
8. The Lion King (Kiva what's this movie about?)

7 of my favorite foods
1. Chicken almond
2. popcorn chicken
3. chicken enchiladas
4. any kind of Tillamook ice cream
5. anything with peanut butter
6. ramen noodles
7. broccoli/cauliflower cheese bake (everyone in my family makes it...yummmmm)

6 of my favorite tv shows
1. Desperate Housewives
2. The O.C.
3. Golden Girls
4. 7th Heaven
5. Gilmore Girls
6. Full House

5 things that make me smile
1. Seeing meows (cats for those of you who don't speak my language)
2. Watching my dad be silly
3. Seeing/holding babies
4. Seeing other people smile
5. Going shoe shopping

4 of my favorite words
1. wowsers
2. loopy
3. schema
4. sweet

3 of my bad habits
1. My sleeping habits...they are just bad
2. Myspace/facebook/blogging
3. drinking way too much caffiene

2 things I cant live without
1. Coffee
2. People that love me

1 word to decribe myself
1. Loving

Thank goodness

2005-05-03T13:21:00.000-07:00

Just took my last midterm...sweet.

Now it's just that 10 page paper...and the dance concert and my life will be BACK!

That is until Monday...4 nights of duty in 6 days...that sucks...and the two nights I don't have it, I have a program and the movie.

I just keep saying only 6 more weeks...only 6 more weeks...only 6 more weeks...

Okay class time.

CRAZY

2005-05-02T21:25:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired. Midterms and term papers and a dance concert all at the same time is bad. Really bad.

I'm considering an all nighter. When else am I gonna write the 10 page paper due Thursday?

ummmmmmmmmmm...so I'm ready for this year to be over. REALLY ready...the kind of ready where you know you're gonna bawl your eyes out but you want it anyways...cause things are just crazy and you need a break even if it means working all the time. Especially when your support group is uh, not supporting you anymore...even if you love them to death but you don't think they see that. It seems that they don't see you period. K wow why don't I just come out and say what's on my mind? Cause I'm too exhausted mentally to put that into words which is why I haven't done so yet and why I'm not writing my paper

wow this post blows so I'm stopping till I can think again. I'm now throwing out the all nighter and thinking about going to bed now...

Random...

2005-04-28T01:56:00.000-07:00

Pick ONE word from each pair that you think describes me the best & leave it in the comments.Then copy this and post it in your own journal to see how your friends view you.
* dominant or submissive
* logical or intuitive
* social or loner
* kinky or vanilla
* cute or sophisticated
* kitten or puppy
* warm flannel sheets or sleek satin
* leader or follower
* quiet or talkative
* spontaneous or planned
* teddy bear or porcelain doll
* hiking or window shopping
* tequila or vodka
* top or bottom
* bare foot or shoes
* jeans or slacks
* tender or rough
* aware or dreamy
* nerd or jock

I feel so loved

2005-04-27T01:31:00.000-07:00

I love you Megan Holt...you were just what I needed tonight!

Funny how it took tons of people to upset me tonight and only 1 to cheer me up...

That's the power of true friends :)

...

2005-04-25T21:14:00.000-07:00

...I quit. Just wanted you to know.

I don't know when I'll see you again

2005-04-25T01:59:00.000-07:00

Monday: science lab quiz
Tuesday: history midterm
Wednesday: tap midterm
Thursday: science midterm and health midterm
Friday: coronation
Saturday: dance rehearsal all day
Sunday: inservice (I hope or else I'm screwed)
Monday: uhhh don't know....then dress rehearsal
Tuesday: motor learning midterm...and dance rehearsal
Wednesday: cry....and dress rehearsal for performance
Thursday: 10 page motor learning paper due and first performance
Friday: performance
Saturday: performance
Sunday: drive home to watch Kidstuff

So basically...I'll see you all in June

Mommy, shopping, and coffee: the cure to a bad week

2005-04-22T17:16:00.000-07:00

My fishy died.
I got a D on my quiz.
I got a C on my paper.
I left my coffee mug at a canopy store in Salem.
Is the week over yet?

Thank goodness for mothers. My mom had some errands in Salem today so I spent the day with her. She bought me clothes and coffee :) I just love being with her. We definitely laughed to the point of tears on many occasions, most memorably when we passed our exit 3 times before we actually took it. We're awesome like that. But it was a nice way to end a cruddy week.

Hopefully Vanessa will come visit tonight. Then I will have even more fun. Then I guess I have to buckle down and study to improve those grades a little bit. I thought I was doing really well in my classes...bummer.

Well...that's all :) I'm still smiling.

Warning: contents may waste your time

2005-04-18T19:17:00.000-07:00

Someone explain this to me, please.

My family has a tv at home. Wow that was a brilliant sentence...moving on. So the remote control stopped working and my mother, the smart woman she is, put new batteries into it. However, this did not fix the problem. She figured the remote was broken. She then discovered that it was only the power button that did not work. The channels, numbers, volume, everything else worked. That's when my mom had another idea, a bit off the wall: My grandparents have the same tv we do in their storage shed. She decided to get their remote and see if it happened to work. Bam, we had a working power button. However, she then proceeded to realize that my grandparent's remote ONLY WORKS FOR POWER and our remote works for EVERYTHING BUT POWER. What the heck??? So we have 2 controls...one for power, one for everything else. I don't get it.

Home was good. I needed a break and I got one. I disovered a few pet peeves though...like when you are driving and get to a speed limit change and when you go to brake you're like wow, the idiot in from of me is driving so slow I don't have to brake. grr to that.

A pet peeve I found this morning is when you are right about something, but because someone thinks THEY are right because this deals with their favorite subject you are automatically wrong. So you go through 2 hours of class, try to leave, and discover you were RIGHT and have to redo it before you leave. Awesome. I love it. Not.

I think that a website review is a stupid assignment. What am I learning about history by reviewing a website and not talking about history at all in it, or learning about history? I'm learning about a website...yay. Just the reason why I took U.S. history. Dumb.

And why we're on the subject of dumb classes, why would you have an assignment to write a bibliography of sources you COULD use for a paper? So you're just finding random sources and turning them in...wow special. My money, or I guess the scholarship-people's money, is really going to good use this term.

Some people talk too loud. A certain loud boy is yelling and I can hear him from my room. I don't so much like that because he is annoying and talks too much. For my protection I will not disclose his name.

In case you didn't notice I am avoiding homework. Stupid website review...stupid bibiography...and stupid quiz tomorrow oops forgot about that one. Lots of reading for tomorrow too. Dang I need sleep tonight, I have a 17 hour day planned. Dangit to classes, dance rehearsal at Rice, and duty.

Well off to my meeting...then it will be 9pm and time to crack down on homework. Let the good times roll.

Oh can't forget my fav quote from this weekend:
Dad: "Cody? He was riding before he came out of the wound."

Someone make me stop the madness

2005-04-14T03:03:00.000-07:00

Halo - such a bad influence. How can one game frustrate me so much yet give me such satisfaction? I swear at a tv screen and jump up and down over a double kill. I stay up late when I desperately need sleep. What a great way to bond with my staff...Josh calling us cock suckers and mother fuckers, among many other things. I definitely was called a bitch a lot by Rick. It's pretty sad that right now Halo is the ONLY thing my brain can register and think about. At least one of my classes is cancelled for tomorrow. Nice little coffee break.

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep...

Disney rocks

2005-04-09T16:33:00.000-07:00

"I want adventure in the great white somewhere, I want it more than I can tell. And for once it might be grand to have someone understand I want so much more than they got planned..."

Just a little quote from a song in Beauty and the Beast, which I am currently watching. Fal and I listened to the cd on duty last week and I've been craving to watch the movie ever since. I figured since I'm confined to campus this weekend for duty that I'd bust the movie out today and just be lazy. So far I've been successful.

This week ended on a good note. I went to work with Jenny Thursday night to preview a movie...not only did I get to watch a free movie, but I got to see it before it came out - a pretty sweet deal. We watched Sahara, which I really didn't think I'd like but I ended up loving it, even though being alone at night in a movie theater is flipping scary. But I enjoyed it anyways.

Friday I slept late, then returned two books to the bookstore that I found online for way cheaper, saving myself about 50 bucks. Later I had to setup for poker and then duty! I enjoy weekend duty with Jenni. We decided last night was going to be a major scrapbooking night for us. She's making scrapbooks for all of her residents and I'm still working on a scrapbook of my trip to Florida. We made a pretty big mess of the staff office. But it was fun! Janelle (Jenni's friend) came over and Josh came down and the 4 of us played Halo. The more rounds, more duty, more scrapbooking...we finished our last rounds around 3am and came to the staff office. All right, quite note before I tell the next part of my story: Leslie and Niko from the Quad staff came over and visited us and were telling stories of how they all scare each other. Okay, so Jenni and I see Josh in his room and only had 3 more halls to go. Jenni was walking ahead of me and unlocked our office...we walk in and Josh jumps out and yells out of the dark room and Jenni and I freak out...I mean, not just a little...but hardcore. We jumped, screamed, and cried. We basically stood there holding each other and shrieking for about 5 minutes. It was ridiculous. Meh...we finally got over it. Then Nitty came down and the 4 of us played some Halo. The guys went to bed at 4:30ish and Jenni and I scrapbooked till after 6. Pretty crazy.

So I wake up today to the duty phone ringing at 1:15 and was like stupid phone you're ruining my dream. It was a good dream about a water slide in Disneyland. Stupid phone...so I got up called Jenni and worked things out...then we had breakfast/lunch. Then I came back, played Sims a little...and now my movie :) Good times

More duty tonight at 7...good times. If I could finish my scrapbook this weekend it would be sweet. We'll see though if I still have motivated to do it tonight. Well off to finish my movie!

For the record...

2005-04-06T04:10:00.000-07:00

...I'm making a resolution that I'll never make another one.

Well, maybe I won't go that extreme. I made it a "resolution" or more of a goal to have better sleeping habits this term. If you read the time I am posting this, it is after 4am, probably not exactly considered a good time to be awake. This term I wanted to wake up at the same time everyday to get myself into a good habit and therefore also regulate my bedtime a little better. However, I don't have class until 2pm tomorrow and don't see myself getting up anytime before...noon. Meh...there are more important things to worry about right now. Like...where I am living next year, my favorite topic of the moment. The apartments on campus, or totally off campus? There are pros and cons to both of course. I have 3 days to deside. This should be interesting.

Going to bed sometime soon. Hoping not to get woken up again by residents asking that I yell at other residents for being loud, resulting in me not being able to sleep but 4 hours last night before my extremely long day today. Oh well...I am through with warm body counts FOREVER!

a little update

2005-04-04T13:29:00.000-07:00

Such a nice weekend I had. It started Thursday night, as I have no classes Fridays. Friday I slept in, paid my fees, and just hung around the room. My friend Vanessa came down from Portland Friday night and my mom showed up as well after a meeting she had in the valley. My mom didn't stay too long but Vanessa stayed the night and we didn't go to bed until 7:30am Saturday. Needless to say we did get plenty of sleep as we didn't wake up until 4:30 in the afternoon.

Jenny called me and we decided to get Cold Stone and go watch a movie. We saw Guess Who, pretty good. Just a lighthearted comedy which was nice. Then Jenny and I decided to stay up all night and ended up making it until...uhh about 9:30 Sunday before falling asleep. I woke up to a phone call at 12:30 but went back to sleep until 2ish when I got another phone call. Then Jenny and I headed into Salem to meet Nakiva and Alli at the mall to help Kiva pick out a prom dress...I miss those days. She bought the cutest dress ever and if it fits (I'm crossing my fingers) I want to wear it to our Cinderella Ball. It would be perfect!

I finished Sunday off with inservice at 5 and duty at 7. I worked on my scrapbook on duty, so after a long and relaxing weekend I'm left with a lot of reading to do tonight. I still have class at 2 today, then my 1-on-1 with Galen and finally a staff meeting tonight at 7:30. However today is easy compared to tomorrow... I'm choosing not to think about that right now.

Wish I had something more to say but I don't...so that's all. Oh yeah, Nitty's mom's chicken noodle soup is the best ever!

A very thorough update

2005-03-30T01:02:00.000-08:00

Let's talk about my great start to spring term 2005.

My first class is earth science lab at 11:00 Monday. Not too early, not too bad. However, I don't know where my class is. So Sunday I go to look it up and my mom informs me she tried to login to my school account for some financial info or something and she messed up on my password that she didn't know so many times that it closed my account and I have to call registrar to reactivate it. Which I can't do until 8am Monday. Just peachy. I wake up around 9:15 and call, get it set up and decided to sleep more. Get up around 10:15 and head to the bookstore to buy my lab packet. I don't really understand how I can have lab BEFORE I have any lecture but I go anyways. Class is cancelled. Yay. So I came back and played Sims or something fun like that.

Next class is tap at 2:00. I know this will be easy because I've had the same sequence, same teacher, same building all year. We went through the same syllabus and the ONLY difference is that for our final we are choreographing our own dance which I am WAY excited for. I'm already thinking about music.

So Monday wasn't too bad once I got past the stupid school account online crap. Monday evening I realize that I have a class in "stadium 102b" and the stadium is just well, the stadium w/ a weight room underneath. This is definitely going to be a lecture class though...interesting. So I finally find a guy who explains to me there is this tiny classroom somewhere under there. Super.

Tuesday...okay, that's today, well its 12 something now so I guess not but wow it's been a long day. Anyways, I wake up at 8:45 to a blaring beeping sound and can't figure out why. I set 2 alarms, a radio and a beep. The radio was supposed to go off first. I then realized the radio had been going off for 15 minutes and didn't wake me up...scary. So I get up and get ready. I decide to take my tap stuff with me, including a change of clothes, so I don't have to come back after my classes. My first class is earth science at 9:30. The prof is a nut who drinks way too much coffee and is way to excited about everything. However he cracks me up and keeps me awake. When class ends I run to the bathroom because I have 10 minutes to get from natural science to the ed building but I have to pee. Once in the bathroom, I run into a problem. My zipper on my pants breaks...I'm like CRAP! Now what? THEN I remember that I have dance pants in my bag! So I change...quickly because I still have to run across campus. I manage to get to class and take the second to last open seat right before class starts. Health 415...I really like the prof, she's nice, friendly, and I think I'm going to really like the class.

She lets us out at 12:15, which gives me 15 minutes to pee (yeah again, I drank coffee) and run back across campus to the stadium to find my class. I walk into the back door and I'm in this open area which I guess is the indoor pole vault area. I see no classroom. Crap. So I keep walking and I see this door propped in the corner...I walk into a room that felt the size of my dorm room shoved full of 25 desks. Yay for motor learning class. The prof is old and dull unfortunately. I have to do some 45 minute group presentation and after looking around the room at who's in the class I am definitely not excited about that. My alternative is an 8-10 page paper and I'm heavily leaning towards that. I can do it in my own to make sure it gets done and I feel like I'm a fairly strong writer. So we'll see. By now I'm getting hungry because its almost 2, I've been going since 9:30 on a banana and yogurt. Class ends and I try to find the fastest way to the math building for my history class (yeah this campus is messed up). Jeffrey is in my class and saved me a desk with a sandwich on it YES! I ate it quickly...history is okay, prof is nice but a little boring, we'll see. It's a 2 hour class but she gives us a 5 min break and the second hour is a class discussion which should be fun.

I got out of history early and jetted to the bookstore where the power proceeded to go out...once again, crap. It came back on, I got my books and waited in line FOREVER...finally got out, raced back to my room to drop them off, get water, and run to tap...which was CANCELLED! I didn't know whether to jump for joy or be pissed. It was nice to have time off to do something else, yet tap is something I enjoy and it takes my mind off things so yeah...I came back to my room and hung up about a million posters in the halls. I ate dinner with Jeff, then took a little bit of chill time before duty at 7.

Duty was good...Kyle's my duty partner this term and I'm excited. We actually did homework tonight, an amazing thing. Jess and I cooked up some amazing plans for Thursday in which almost our entire staff has committed to...more on that later. It was fun times though.

Now here I am in my room, wondering why I have gotten myself into this crazy 9:30am -12:30am schedule for Tuesdays and 9:30am - 6pm Thursdays. I just keep telling myself that Fridays are off, Wednesdays are just tap, Mondays are just lab and tap...it's all good. I'm just glad boring syllabus days are over for this term. Yuckyness.

Well this seems to be a pretty thorough discussion of my day so I think I can stop now. My eyes are killing me...I put in new contacts Monday and I haven't seen well out of my right eye since. Explain to me how 2 month old contacts that are supposed to work 2 weeks work better than these? I've been putting eye drops in for allergies because my eyes just haven't felt right lately. Hopefully things get better...okay but now that everything has been discussed it's time to go fix my eyeballs and read for FUN no more textbooks for today aaaaaaaaaaaaaah too much reading this term ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww no more stooooooooop the maddness okay wow gotta get off here

I'm back

2005-03-27T20:46:00.000-08:00

I need some stability in my life.
I'm tired.
I'm sad spring break is over.
Only 11 weeks left here.
I made lots of tip money making coffee and scooping ice cream this week.
You never know when someone is going to turn your back on you.
Don't expect anything and you won't be disappointed when nothing happens.
I hate when really good things end on a horrible note.
I'm so much like Loralai from Gilmore Girls it scares me.
Having Fridays off this term is going to rock.
I can't wait for Amber to come home from Canada (only another month!).
I am so thankful for Denise, Allison, and Jeff. I don't know what I would do without them.
I still can't believe my grandma watches the O.C.

First and Lasts

2005-03-21T12:56:00.000-08:00

First best friend: Savanna Sloter
First car: 2001 Hyundai Accent (unless you count the Ford Ranger I shared with my dad)
First date: hmmm I guess if formal dances count as dates, then homecoming my freshmen year
First real kiss: Kellen
First break-up: Kellen
First screen name: BellerinaManders
First self purchased album: Can't remember...my first cd owned though was Garth Brooks
First funeral: Sam and Mindy Wallace's baby
First pets: Fluffy my cat
First piercings/tattoos: first piercing was my ears in 7th grade
First true love: Jeff
First enemy: don't really have any "enemies"

*Lasts*
Last cigarette: never
Last car ride: today to Lincoln City and back
Last kiss: Sunday
Last good cry: cried sunday but it was more bad than good
Last movie seen: Grease
Last beverage drank: Dr. Pepper
Last food consumed: Cheeseburger fries and chicken strips
Last crush: Jeffrey
Last phone call: Jenny
Last time showered: this morning
Last shoes worn: My new pink and white Nikes
Last CD played: Michael Jackson...it was really random
Last item bought: clothing
Last annoyance: My dad picking on me while I sit here
Last Disappointment: a friend not coming over
Last time wanting to die: hmmm it's been a while thank goodness
Last shirt worn: pink shirt from Old Navy
Last website visited: myspace
Last word you said: okay
Last song you sang: Motownphilly
Last heartbreak: hmmm don't know...luckily it's been a while too

Today was fun. It was a girls day out with my mom, my grandma, and my great aunt. We went out to lunch and then shopping in Lincoln City. I baby-sat with Alli last night and oooooh Seth is the cutest little baby in the world. I definitly hogged him. Other than that, just chilling, seeing friends, shopping, and working. I love being home :)

March 12th-18th : Absolute chaos

2005-03-18T16:54:00.000-08:00

I sit here awaiting spring break with open arms.

Only 10 minutes before halls close so I'm just killing time...I've been cleaning and packing but needed to sit for a moment. This week has probably been the craziest in this whole year but not because finals. Finals were more of a break to me because I got to sit in silence and not be bothered by anyone.

Lets recap the week: My job and social life conflicted in the worst way possible, Staff sleepover, finding out someone close to me has a big crush on me (problem since I'm not single), pulling two all nighters (not to study), driving over 700 miles in 14 hours to the Canadian border and back, taking finals without studying, checking out 2/3 of my guys hall that is not returning after spring break, and having to deal with people telling me how to live my life when they are so full of crap they can't live their own lives (maybe that's why they tell me how to live mine, they realize how screwed they are and would rather not attempt to fix their own issues). But yeah, I'll do whatever I want, thanks.

So I sit here smiling, excited for a week to do nothing. I do have a few things planned...I'm going to a family friend's birthday party, seeing some friends, and working a few days. Still that is so low key after this week. Then again anything would be low key after this week. I can say I have numerous stories to tell. I sit here laughing in my seat just thinking about that last week...it definitely goes down in history. Just stay away from Canadian Mountys...they suck. (Vanessa knows this).

I absolutely love it

2005-03-16T17:11:00.000-08:00

Finals week really rocks my world. I scrapped studying for finals altogether. I got a record 6 hours of sleep last night! Amazing! Took 2 tests today, I think I have a shot of acing my tap final and the rock music one was ridiculously easy. Stupid guy gave us 2 answers, and talked during the first 15 minutes of the test. We were given 2 hours and I left after 25 minutes. I love it.

So what else did I do today? Sims...I'm addicted. I have a husband, 5 kids and a messy house. It's great.

I love finals week. Why stress? Why cram? What makes you think you can learn 10 weeks worth of material in a few days? Meh, I'm over it.

Finals week is bomb

2005-03-15T23:32:00.000-08:00

Today was exciting because it was 100% uneventful. I slept late, hung out w/ Jeff all day, ate really greasy and fattening food, watched TV and played SIMS which has been the downfall of my academic success this term. Very addicting game. Fun anyways.

I really don't have anything great to talk about. I have two finals tomorrow: rock music and tap. I'm not expecting anything very difficult. I know the tap dance, the terms will be maybe a bit more difficult but I'll glance over them tomorrow. Rock, I don't even know or care at this point what will be on the test but I'm ready. Thursday I'm hoping to rearrange my room and clean it before my last final Friday, closing the halls and leaving! Yay! Okay yeah that's it.

Sleepovers aren't just for kids

2005-03-14T17:42:00.000-08:00

Wow...crazy night last night. We had a staff sleepover, which consisted of the other 8 RA's that work in my building and our area coordinator. We met at 11:30 last night in our office. Jess and Jenni were on duty so all 10 of us went on rounds with them throughout the building...that was so much freaking fun! Residents weren't quite sure what was going on but it made it fun, especially when halfway through everyone was acting sneaky and racing through the halls. The halls are kinda shaped like an "H" that's the best way to describe it. So we'd all split up and race around different parts of the hall - it was great fun.

Afterwards we ended up back in the lounge. The lounge concsits of a big tv lounge area, a bathroom, our staff office, and Galen's aparment. We were all supposed to bring an activity to play. We started out with a card game, and ended up doing modern dance moves to the soundtrack of dirty dancing...quite entertaining. I have fun pictures from that.

Galen went to bed around...well I have no clue, between 1 and 2 maybe? Cause he was sick...the that left the 9 RA's. I facilitated a round of Mafia and then we played truth or dare jenga w/out the jenga part, just answering the questions. Somehow we ended up talking about paper cuts on a penis...interesting. Then Yendi, Fallon, and Kyle decided to go sleep in their rooms...the rest of us stayed in the lounge. Nitty ended up doing homework in the office because he had a final due at 8am this morning. He finished around 5 I think...Jenni worked on homework a little bit as well. Josh and I practiced our tap final and then I couldn't stop dancing around between the lounge and staff office. Mel and Jess were asking each other random questions so Josh and I joined in.

Oh wait I left out the most important part of the night!!! Jess decided if she was sleeping then she needed her mattress. There were a few couches in the lounge but she was left with the short special one. So Jess and I decided to bring down her mattress...first problem is that she lives on the 3rd floor. Our second problem was getting it out of her door, into the hall and out the main door. We could not stop laughing. Once we got on the stairs it was actually easy...we rested it on our heads so we could both walk forwards. However, at the bottom of the stairs we had another issue...the pods are set up really close together and we had to walk around 2 corners with brick walls all around us...after laughing for an extremely long time we made it. Jenni, Melissa, and Josh weren't sure what happened to us because we said we were just grabbing her sleeping bag. Anyways, we rocked! So back to the rest of the night...

Nitty joined us in the lounge and Melissa decided to go to bed. That left 5 of us. Nitty stayed a while longer. I was entertaining listening to him, Jess, and Jenni talk about cutting off arms, having nubs, and spooning. Josh and I pushed our couches together and tried to sleep but couldn't really. Nitty went to his room around 6 something maybe, although I guess he didn't sleep. Josh fell asleep but the rest of us couldn't...so Jenni, Jess and I stayed up till Valsetz opened at 7 and I had breakfast for the first time this year. It was amazing. But first Jess and I had to return her matress to her room. It was so much harder going up. We got to the first landing halfway to the second floor and busted up laughing...Jess bent over and the mattress was on her back and she couldn't stand up. I was trying to back up but I had no where to go. Jenni just watched us and laughed from the lounge and wouldn't come help. Finally we started up again but the matress kept slipping off our heads. I had a fear it was just going to go flying off the stairs. Finally we succussfully made it to her room. Once again, we were fricking amazing.

Then we ate and sometime this morning Jenni started saying lame constantly...every 5 minutes something was "lame" and it was really funny for some reason. Perhaps since we hadn't slept? Cause everything was pretty funny. At 8:15 I crawled into bed with very blurry vision and a headache behind my eyes...and wishing I didn't have a final later. I couldn't sleep till almost 9 and then I had a knock on my door at 12 something so I got up, showered, and studied. Took the final at 4 and for not much sleep and a ton of material I think I did well...probably a solid B and I'm hoping I can still get an A overall. Oh well, I had tons of fun last night even though the "sleepover" ended with 4/10 people left and only 1 actually sleeping.

Now I have duty in an hour...I will be so exhausted when its over! At least there are no finals tomorrow! 1 down, 3 to go!

why is it so hard?

2005-03-13T02:13:00.000-08:00

I just had to make a choice. A choice between doing my job like I signed a contract and said I would, or going against that contract by protecting someone's friend. I made my choice, the choice I know was right...so why am I paying these consequences? Seriously, what did I do wrong?

It's gonna be okay, right? Even if I lose a relationship, it'll be okay...someone please, tell me I'll be okay...

hehe eloping

2005-03-12T23:36:00.000-08:00

I forgot to mention something. Josh and I are eloping...I just have to break of w/ Jeff first he says and then we can elope. We decided this at bingo when he mentioned something about west side story and I started singing "when you're a jet." Good times...and we also bonded over tap and something else I can't remember...we were going to elope tonight but we are under solitary confinement so we are going to spring break :)

yeahhhhhhhhhhh see this is what solitary confinement does to you...you go craaaaaazy. You make up crazy ideas about eloping and hang out in a hallway until 11 cause you can. This is bad for my health.

YES Jeff is on his way...no more random posting...for tonight at least

Do you like Ladder 49?

2005-03-12T23:20:00.000-08:00

I can't decide if I like Ladder 49 or not. I absolutely loved it till the end...and I think the only reason why I didn't like it is because it was totally unexpected. I don't wanna blow it for anyone that hasn't seen it, but I'm really torn about how I feel. I just knew it was going to turn out the way I wanted it to and then it didn't. I'm a sucker for happy endings, but I can handle not happy endings if they fit...with that said, I'm still torn about how I feel but I know I loved it up until the end at least. I think I'll watch it again, knowing what happens...okay enough about a silly movie.

I also watched S.W.A.T. yesterday which was good...made it back to my room by 11pm for all staff duty weekend which meant I sat in my room...joyous. Today I played SIMS to avoid studying, played some frisbee, and went to casino night to call out bingo. After that I mananged to finally get some laundry done, which I'm still in the process of finishing. I've decided I can't wait to have my own place where I have my own washer and dryer. I never realized how cool that was at home until I came to school, especially this year. As I was trying to push open the main door of the hall while juggling a laundry basket, detergent, and money, I realized how much I miss laundry at home. No carrying laundry up and down stairs, or having to wait for random strangers to finish so you can start. The day I have my own washer and dryer will be a happy day.

Jeff should be here soon to keep me entertained while I'm in solitary confinement...I mean, all staff duty weekend. Time to bust out my tea and just relax...tomorrow means major last minute studying before finals :(

Shopping makes me happy :)

2005-03-11T18:49:00.000-08:00

Gooood day! Lots of shopping, lots of new clothes, an Orange Julius, beautiful weather, and the end to classes this term! Can it get any better? Why yes...later tonight I have dutch brothers coming my way! As of now I'm about ready to hang out with a friend for the first time in a while, so I'm excited for that. Plus a friend I haven't talked to in a looooooong time emailed me today, and last night I got several phone calls from friends...its been a nice few days.

Other than that...all staff duty weekend which means I have to be back in my room by 11 pm. Yay for excitement. This week has been great, with perfect temperatures in the 70's. I even went for job last night, kinda strange, but my shin splints that I thought were gone came back and I decided jogging (sadly) isn't good exercise for me right now. Oh well.

Backing up a bit, I had duty Wednesday night w/ Nitty and that was fun. Just kinda sat around, did homework and listened to music. Thursday I did basically nothing until tap...OH yes, the power outage...I was in dance when the power went out, in all of Monmouth. So we got out early, I came to my hall where everything was pitch black because I live in a brick/cinder block hole. I had to use a cell phone for light to go pee. Luckily power came back on around an hour later. I didn't know what to do with myself with no power and my cell phone not working.

Today I just had 2 classes and then freedom! Now just those finals next week...eh. I'll worry about those later cause I'm leaving now...

I should be sleeping

2005-03-10T01:25:00.000-08:00

A - Age you got your first kiss: 14
B - Band listening to right now: None, my speaker is buried right now and I'm too lazy to find it to turn it on...pathetic I know
C - Crush: Jeffrey
D - Dad's name: Don
E - Easiest person to talk to: Denise
F - favorite food: Pineapple
G - Gummy bears or gummy worms: gummy worms
H - Hometown: Newport
I - Instruments: None...musically challeneged
K - Kids: I want several...a few of my own, maybe adopt at least one, maybe be a foster parent...we'll see what happens. (I don't know where J went)
L - la: Yeah not so sure...
M - Mom's name: Tami
N - Nicknames: Mo, Momo, dumber, manders, mandum, sparkles, mandikins, idnam
O - One wish: That my friends would all get along
P - Phobia[s]: snakes
Q - Quote: The triangle is not a friendly shape (It has a story...)
R - Reason to smile: Someone loves me
S - Song you sang last: Ocean Avenue
T - Time you woke up [today]: 9:30 am to be in class with coffee in hand by 10 am
U - Unknown fact about me: I am obsessed with watching people...anytime I'm not doing something I just watch people...it's just interesting to see what they will do I guess, I'm not sure.
V - Vegetable you hate: none come to mind
W - Worst habit(s): Procrastination
X - X-rays you've had: mouth
Y - Yummy food: anything Chinese or Italian
Z - Zodiac sign: Sagitarious

Random

2005-03-08T00:41:00.000-08:00

I'd have to say the last 4 days have been a few of the most random days in my life. For starters, my little brother called me Thursday evening to see what I was doing...he never calls so when I saw his number on the caller ID I got scared and thought something must be wrong. However, he was calling because he drove out to Salem with his friend and they wanted to stop by and see me. I was surprised but way excited. We were close when we were younger but since I've moved out here we haven't been as close. It was super cool to have him out here though. So Friday I check my email and discover random thing #2: an email from my 4th grade teacher. Totally, totally strange. I haven't talked to her in years. I guess she's been substitute teaching at the elementary school where my mom works and my mom gave her my email. It was pretty cool, just...random. As if this isn't enough...I get woken up Sunday by knocking on my door. It's one of my good friends who lives out of town stopping by to say hi. With her is a friend of mine who lives here, and the 2 of them have met like, twice...and here they were together at my door. I guess she was walking through campus and he found her...anyways, it was cool to spend some time with them. Then Sunday night I get a call from my boss from last summer that I haven't talked to since last summer asking if I would like a few days of work for spring break. Heck yes! Something fun to do, free coffee, and a little extra cash...how could I pass that up? So a very random but good 4 days.

Today was good as well. In staff meeting we planned duty for next term. I have Tuesday nights, one Monday and one Wednesday in May, a weekend in April and a weekend in May. I wanted Tuesdays so I was stoked about that, plus I got the few weekends that I'm not busy since spring term is gonna get hectic and crazy. I left the meeting very pleased :)

This is all for now...i'm totally exhausted, I stayed up too late last night w/ Jeff but we were having some really awesome discussions so neither of us would give in and go to bed until very very... or maybe early, cause I'm not sure quite when late becomes early. So bed, here I come...

uhh

2005-03-03T18:33:00.000-08:00

Congratulations! You are Lynette Scavo, the
ex-career woman who traded the boardroom for
boredom, mixed with moments of sheer panic as
the mother of four unmanageable kids.

Which Desperate Housewife are you?

My little brother just called and told me he is on his way here...what a nice surprise!!! I'm excited!

Spring is in the air...

2005-03-01T01:07:00.000-08:00

So I haven't posted in a long time...I guess its cause my life has been fairly chill. Nothing exciting to share, no good stories to tell, and nothing really to vent about. Guess that's probably a good thing.

Basically all I've done is school, RA stuff, and then went home for the weekend. It was nice to get away for a few days. I couldn't believe how quiet it was when I went to bed the first night I was home...I couldn't hear a thing. No doors slamming, no phones ringing, no flip flops on stairs at 3am (that's quickly becoming a big pet peeve). I wasn't sure if I was gonna be able to sleep because it was so darned quiet! But I got used to it and slept quite well.

I got back Sunday and chilled...got to hang out with Jeff alone for the first time in a while and we had some quality time. I made him watch the Notebook with me and of course I cried through the last 3o minutes or so. But I still love that movie anyways and Jeff enjoyed it so that was good.

In the last few days I have :
~Rediscovered my love for pink
~Realized I will greatly miss my communication class next term
~Organized my dresser and closet only to lose space somehow...still trying to figure out how that worked and what to do about it and what to do with all the clean clothes on my floor.
~Seen how blessed I am to be loved by such wonderful people!
~Attempeted to work on my organization skills/lack thereof for next term.
~Considered doing something totally different than anything I have ever done next year...okay its not too wild people, just a stretch.

Those are just a couple things that popped into my mind. I've felt so peaceful the past few days, I can't really describe it. I wish I could because its a wonderful feeling. I know that things are finally settling down, things are coming together and I love it :) I'm changing a lot, but for good. I'm working hard and it's paying off. Now if only I could change my terrible sleeping habits, and my caffiene addiction...nah that won't change, but yeah the sleeping habits and procrastination could use some working on. I'll just uh, take one thing at a time for now...

California, here we come

2005-02-18T18:38:00.000-08:00

Here are some fun IM's I've received lately:

LulumelWOU: Come get ramen when you are get back. You are so sexy when you have metal on your shoes!

fortune cook e 9: beautiful
BellerinaManders: what is?
fortune cook e 9: oh besides you
fortune cook e 9: today

sftball85chick : what?
BellerinaManders : what?
sftball85chick : hmm I have no idea what
BellerinaManders : lol
BellerinaManders : okay neither do I
sftball85chick : lol
BellerinaManders : awesome
sftball85chick : what?
sftball85chick : i am lost
BellerinaManders : huh?
sftball85chick : whatever
BellerinaManders : oh

nagem3185: it was great
nagem3185: i felt like i was back in tacoma sharing a bed with 5 girls and getting prank calls from teri and then having brandi get almost molested by the drunk women across the hall

nagem3185: care to explain to your ex-partner in crime? love ya bunches, hope you are doing ok! call me if you ever need to talk!!! i miss you tons and you need to make a trip to Reno to visit me!! we can make some new "dumb and dumber" memories, nagem and idnam, pointe shoes, cucumbers, gum ball machines, reindeer, dancing to the BEEP BEEP of the phone in Tacoma, good times. keep em rollin.

aahhh yes...good times. Thank you Melissa for calling me sexy, Kyle for calling me beautiful, Vanessa for always making me laugh, and Megan for cheering up my day with great memories! I love you guys!

Anyways...duty time here soon. What that REALLY means is tons of OC watching. Today has been so productive for me. As of lately I've been extremely unmotivated so today I decided to clean. Hardcore. I attacked under my bed which was fricking scary. I found mail that I never opened from fall. That's how scary it was. Anyways, under my bed is organized, floor vacuumed, stuff put away...now all I need to do is clean my desk...yet another fricking scary task...and put away some clothes on my chair and find a home for this random stuff next to me desk and my room will be CLEAN! Wow that was a really long sentence. What I really need to do is get motivated for school and finish my 7 page rock history paper. Yikes...working on that. I have 2 pages I think, that's good for me being its not due until Wednesday. I'm proud. Okay, well, almost duty/OC time...leave me comments peoples, I love them!

Megan McDonald, I hope you are reading this because these are for you:

~ "PAUL!!!! I want you Paul!!" - Teri
~ Elmo (by the way my mom made me a scrapbook and took that picture of Teri's shirt and put on the dance page! I laughed for daaaaaays!)
~ 2 guys walked into a bar. The 3rd guy ducked ;)

Only time will tell...

2005-02-16T03:21:00.000-08:00

The last several hours have been incredibly emotional for me, and I have no idea why. I know what sprung it, but really a lot of bottled up emotions came tumbling out. I've had 3 "breakdowns" in the last week where I have just started crying out of nowhere, out of a silly comment or something that meant nothing at all, 2 of those times being today. It's absolutely crazy. Sometimes I just feel like I hate college, but when I try to think of why I don't have a reason. I love my classes, my major, my staff. I can't figure out what the problem is. This week I believe I have pinpointed it: I miss the things I used to have in my life. People have always told me college is the time of your life, blah blah blah. However, I kinda think that my time was more in high school...work with me here. I really loved my life back then, especially senior year. I had the best friend I had ever had and could imagine, was finally dating a guy I had liked forever, I was dancing 5 days a week and was given a solo, I was on Loyalty Days court, I was very involved with church/mission trips, was an editor for the paper, got along great w/ my parents and brother, had a great circle of friends...I had it all. I loved everything...and I lost a lot of that by coming to school. Perhaps its harder for me to make new friends because I'm shy. It takes a while before I am 100% myself in front of people and I can only count a handful of people that I am myself around to this day. I really wish I could be that way more with people but I guess I worry too much about what people think...I'm working on that one. But honestly I just miss my old life and its hard to get used to an old one. I can't help how I feel homesick and how hard it was to say bye to my parents this weekend when they came to visit me. Seeing my dad in tears didn't help. I talked to my mom online today, and she told me how she was really lonely in college and it made me feel bad for her. Life's dealt my mom some really bad hands that she doesn't deserve and I just want the absolute best for her. She's an awesome woman and totally deserving of something wonderful and perfect, I just don't know what. I wish I could give that to her. But anyways...I think it helps to know why I've been so miserable at school. It's not anything here, I love it here. Its the fact that I loved my old life so much and I don't deal well with change. What's the hardest is moving on from the friends that I had. I don't have anyone at school I can call my "best friend" or run to with anything that happens. So I remember back to high school and how great it was to have that...ahh, the memories. I'm so thankful for the great memories that I do have and I'm glad I can at least hold on to those good times if I can't have them anymore. Things will go up, I'm holding out for that. I just wish people could understand me, understand what's going on and why I am the way I am...but how do you explain that to someone? You have to get to know people and I feel like no one gives me the time of day to get to know me closely. But now that I can reflect on all this I hope I can grow as a person...and I honestly think I will. Only time will tell...

You learn...

2005-02-10T01:58:00.000-08:00

Well my life is boring. Extremely busy but nothing exciting to share. I'm giving blood tomorrow, the term is over half over, and Im going home the 25th. That's all that's important to me at this moment in time. So for lack of anything to say :

FIRSTS.
First best friend: Jacob Geil
First car: Ford Ranger that I shared w/ my dad...my first car to myself was/is my Hyundai Accent
First self purchased item: uhh no clue
First pets: a cat named Fluffy...or maybe Blacky was first...
First piercing/tattoo: Ears when I was 12

LASTS.
Last car ride: Yesterday morning to Salem
Last good cry: Monday night, but it wasn't exactly a good thing. Maybe it can be, I dunno.
Last crush: Jeffrey
Last cigarette: Never
Last phone call: Nitty called me last, I don't know who I called last
Last time showered: a couple hours ago
Last shoes worn: My slippers. They act as my shoes around campus, especially around the res halls
Last song played: God of Wonders
Last item bought: 2 cds
Last shirt worn: uh right now I'm wearing a pink tank top...before it was a blue dance and all that jazz shirt
Last word/s you said: bye to melissa and kyle
Last song you sang: uhh haven't been in a singing mood today so I don't know
What's under your bed? HOLY CRAP!!! Alot...cds, laundry basket, suitcase, water, garbage bags, plastic bags, textbooks, boxes, a TON of paperwork stuff, info from staff training this year, stuff to my digital camera...that's just the icing on the cake. That is the messiest area I have had to date in my life.
What time did you wake up today? 10:40...definitely slept through my 10:00 class...oops

FUTURE:
Where do you want to go? ummm I want to travel Europe, but I don't know where I want to live yet
What is your career going to be? 5th grade teacher...maybe middle school math teacher for a while if I get authorized for it
How many kids do you want? 4ish
What kind of car(s): Something bigger, I miss driving my mom's big truck. So either a big truck or an SUV

CURRENT:
Current mood: sleepy and frustrated
Current music: Live Like You Were Dying by Tim McGraw
Current taste: ramen
Current hair: down, kinda wet and kinda curly
Current annoyance(s): cold weather and a lack of snow
Current clothes: tank top, sweatshirt, pajama pants
Current desktop: staff picture from Applebees
Current hate: abstract algebra

That's it for now. I need sleep...no more sleeping through class, ugh..both literally sleeping while I'm in class, and sleeping as in not ever waking up to GO to class. So sleep is a must.

What an interesting night...

2005-02-08T01:23:00.000-08:00

Answer these questions:
1. Favorite Color
2. Favorite Flower
3. Favorite Food
4. Favorite Movie
5. Favorite Song
6. Favorite Season
7. Favorite State of Mind/Emotion
8. Favorite Disney Character
9. Favorite Class
10. Favorite Joke

and my answers are:
1. Favorite Color: Pink (although this is a very weak pink color)
2. Favorite Flower: Gerber daisies or tiger lilies
3. Favorite Food: chicken enchiladas or cheesecake (that's what sounds best at the moment)
4. Favorite Movie: Dirty Dancing
5. Favorite Song: No One Needs to Know by Shania Twain...it's an oldie.
6. Favorite Season: Fall
7. Favorite State of Mind/Emotion: relief
8. Favorite Disney Character: Mushu from Mulan
9. Favorite Class: Interpersonal communication
10. Favorite Joke: 2 guys walked into a bar. The 3rd guy ducked.

Tonight was a rough night. I asked someone a simple question and their answer made me burst into tears. It was one of my moments where I just break down over something so small and cry and cry and cry...I just let out everything that has been bugging me. So I've decided to help cheer myself up, I'm going shopping tomorrow morning (early = sucky but I'm promising myself coffee) and tonight I am going to relive some happy memories and funny moments. This may be long, but keep in mind I'm doing this for myself. I need it.

~Sophomore year, Megan McDonald and I tried moving mats at dance so we could practice back rolls. We couldn't figure out how to get them through the doorway and were dubbed "dumb and dumber" and the names stuck for the rest of our high school dance careers.

~"Dude, I think it's french braiding my butt hair!" - I'll spare you the details but I'm sure Nakiva remembers that one.

~Making videos in the middle of the night, pretending to be Britany Spears, doing a makeover on "Jordan the exhange student," and having to whisper on the tape after being yelled at by an angry parent.

~Breaking and entering a hotel room in order to steal clothing.

~ "You normally don't say THAT when you're going to the bathroom!" - Grant's mom at a baseball game in Sweet Home when she heard me comment from an outhouse.

~Speaking of Sweet Home baseball games, sitting outside in the rain/hail/cold/wind while everyone else ran for their cars and the teams ran for the dugouts. Yes folks, we did get a standing ovation from the opposing team...yesss!!!

~Asking Nakiva to roll for me while playing beaveropoly because I was too tired to roll...yet we made it to 7am and got Starbucks and woke up her parents.

~Allison giving me a rubberband for the first time to help me not be afraid of talking to a certain person...it helped! :)

~Friday choralation..."lovely day, lovely day, lovely day, love-ly day!" Yay for coffee before dance.

I could go on forever and forever and forever...but I know I'm boring people. However this has helped and I think I'm gonna continue putting memories like this on here...it's nice for me.

Yawn

2005-02-06T18:36:00.000-08:00

Well I'm sleepy today. I really need to start going to bed before 7am...yeah I've been bad lately. In the last 2 weeks I'm only had 7 hours of uninteruppted sleep once...most the other nights I slept around 4 hours or so, a few nights at more or less. The point is I need more sleep.

I've decided I like tap again...Thursday went so much better and I'm really loving my solo part. It's coming along quite nicely.

I had weekend duty this weekend and basically all I did while on duty is watch the OC. Nitty has me addicted. We started episode 1, season 1 Friday night and watched 4 episodes. Saturday night ALL we did was watch the show and go on rounds. The second we'd get back from rounds we'd go back to the show. I'm now through episode 11 and reallllllly wanna watch more. My addiction is terrible.

It's crazy to think that the term is half over. Only 5 more weeks and then finals...wow! My classes this term are much harder than I've had and I'm not looking forward to finals, or the rest of my midterms/tests either. Eeek...

Now to finish up the superbowl...Go Patriots!

tap = grr

2005-02-01T16:15:00.000-08:00

Have ya ever done something you completely loved so much to a point where you start hating it?
I'm not so fond of tapping anymore.

I'm sure the moment will pass. I love tap, I love listening to it, watching it, doing it...but right now I'm just so frustrated with it. My class is too easy, and the performing class is more challenging but the instructor just is so different than what I'm used to and teaches tap differently. Basically its like I'm learning tap all over again because everything I know is "wrong." She informed me last week that this step I've done the same way for 6 years isn't how you're supposed to do it. So much for making that my solo piece. So now I don't have a solo piece anymore and I need to make a new one ASAP and I definitely left class in tears because of my frustrations with it. I feel like if I could just go tap on my own for a while and pretend I'm not taking class from this lady 4 days a week who tells me I'm wrong that maybe I would love tap the same way again...

Today has actually been a pretty good day otherwise. I slept in late, had lunch, and took a math test which I think went quite well. My plans for the rest of the day are tap practice, dinner, maybe reading/homework and HOPEFULLY cleaning/organizing, and then Jenny may come over for a bit when she gets off work.

I had a really funny quote I was gonna put on here cause I read it in my textbook and couldn't believe it, but uhh I can't find my textbook right now...so there will definitely be some cleaning tonight. Joyous. I'll post it when I find it.

Question: If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
Personally, I would be purple mountain's majesty. I would be a pink shade but the pink crayons are lacking in my opinion. But let me know what YOU would pick!

There's a car alarm going off at 3:30am

2005-01-29T03:32:00.000-08:00

Ahhh the weekend...such a happy time. A time to pretend that I don't have classes and midterms and all that jazz. A time to sleep a lot and study little. A time to wear pajamas all day and not wear make-up. A time to pretend that I do have a life...

This week was long and short, all at the same time. I certainly accomplished a lot, but also grew an enormous to-do list. I gained a new nickname, took 2 tests, did tons of homework, completed lots of paperwork for RA life (yay for room changes), and hung out with a friend from out of town. Tomorrow I have my Allison coming to hang out with me from Newport. I'm taking her to Cold Stone cause she's never been, crazy girl! We also plan to see a movie and then do whatever else comes up.

Early today I was extremely pissed off...I spent all week on this math assignment, crazy hard, and put countless hours into it. It was due today and between doing it during rock history and between classes I managed to finish it. I took it to class and FORGOT TO TURN IT IN! How big of a moron does that make me? For the love...So if I turn it in monday I should still get some credit for it, but it's such a disappointment after all my hard work. I definitely need to get organized and take some time for myself to get back on the right track.

I got my schedule for the spring dance concert and basically halfway through April I hand my life over to the choreographers until a week into May. That's midterms right there, that should be fun. When I do get my life back I'll be wrapping up the year, packing to leave, and taking finals...basically the only free time I have is in the middle of the night which explains why I never sleep anymore. I'm 5 days and running on hardly any sleep, thanks to loud residents (aka Jeff's loud laugh and his hall yelling profanities at girls), an extremely hot room, and 8am phone calls and knocks on my door everyday! I unfortunately fell asleep in poetry 3 times on Wednesday...eek. But today I'm feeling pretty good for the lack of sleep. I figure I'll be in bed within an hour...and what time I'm getting up has not yet been determined. I'd like to get up early but that'll be hard to do on a Saturday...hmm.

So I really wish I had some more exciting stories to tell. I've been emailing a relative I've never been close to or hardly ever spent time with...I'm actually only related to her by marriage (she married my grandpa) and although he died in October I've been staying in touch with her more than ever before. It's been a really awesome experience though, I grow to love her more everyday. We actually have quite a bit in common.

Well I think I'm going to go listen to the rain...it's been raining all day and I love it. I've missed the rain...it was just stinking cold forever and no moisture. Bring on the rain!

Here's your weekend update, folks

2005-01-23T03:37:00.000-08:00

Well weekend duty has come to an end. Not completely, I guess, but my official "hours" have ended. Now I just carry the phone around until 7pm tomororw evening hoping NO ONE will call it so I can just sleep all day long. Cause right now it's 3:30 in the morning, I'm running on 2 nights of not enough sleep, and since I have two tests monday, my first 2 of the term, I'd like to get lots of rest before then. Enough said.

Luckily duty has been chill...Jenni was my duty partner and I enjoyed spending time with her. We also had lots of visitors in the office, which was exciting. Last night we just chilled in the office, ate, went on rounds...we have to go on rounds 4 times a night on weekend duty, but for our midnight rounds last night we randomly asked if anyone would go for us, and Aaron and Kari graciously accepted. Way exciting. We got off duty around 3 and I came back to my room, didn't do much, and went to bed a little after 4.

When the alarm went off at 10, I was a little pissed. But I had agreed to meet Jenni for breakfast since we had to get up to unlock everything anyways. After breakfast she went back to bed and I got ready for the day, spending more time than I ever do getting ready. I think I took like an hour and a half. It was amazing. Then I watched Grease w/ Jeff, then wrote some scholarship essays. Finally I went to eat w/ Aaron, Kathy, and Niko before going back on duty at 7.

I thought duty was chill last night until tonight rolled around. Jenni showed up not feeling well and I was exhausted...it didn't take long before both of us crashed and fell asleep in the office. The phone rang and scared the living daylights out of me. It was Jess, so we chatted a few minutes and hung up. Back to sleep...it wasn't 5 minutes before RING!!! It was Niko, reading out of a textbook in a random voice. Super. Jenni looked at me, closed her eyes and the SECOND she closed them she was snoring, no joke. So I sat there watching the clock and 5 minutes later RING! IT was Niko with a serious question. Ridiculous...we gave up on sleep and went on rounds. However, Jenny (different than my duty partner, note the spelling difference) came and brought Jenni and I DUTCH BROTHERS! We were in heaven to say the least. Then lots of visitors showed up - Kari, Aaron, Josh, Patty, Janelle, Kyle, Jenny...it was sweet. Jenni was like "I guess we should do rounds..." and Kyle was like "I'll do it." YES! So Kyle and Aaron did rounds at 10. The midnight rolls around...and Aaron and Josh did rounds! So Jenni and I definitely were lazy and smooth and got out of alot of work. Melissa showed up so the 3 of us girls began playing Halo. It was wonderful. I love that game, even though I've only played twice and I don't feel that I'm that good, although the first time I played I got 15 kills and I was told that was good for a beginner. Tonight I played decently I guess, it was sure fun. Josh came and played with us and then went on rounds with us at 2ish. And now here I am. I think my favorite moment for tonight was a quote from Josh to me: (this is for you Jenni) "If you kiss me, I'll stop killing you. I'll even buy you dinner." Definitely a funny moment kids. It became a joke for the evening, much to Jenni's dismay.

So there's my weekend, very much unproductive but very chill. I guess I did those essays and studied a little little bit...but there's plenty to do this week. Perhaps I should be in bed although I don't feel like going. But I feel I've rambled enough...needless to say, good weekend, I had some good talks with people, spent time w/ people I normally don't and that was totally sweet. I hope it happens again soon...peace.

I'm slacking, I know

2005-01-19T18:28:00.000-08:00

Where to start? I'm not quite sure! Life has just been crazy lately. There's so much to do and just not enough time for it all.

I had my first tap practice for the spring dance concert, and it was amazing. We learned a ton of new material and I absolutely love it. It's going to be a very fast and technical dance. I was a little sore today from it, but it's well worth it.

Today I had 3 classes, since one of them got cancelled. That was nice. Barbara Trego called me up to see if I wanted to go bowling, so I went with her and her boyfriend Brandon. It was fun to just get off campus and hang out with a familiar face. Plus I got a 124 so I was pretty stoked about my score. Good times.

Things have overall been good lately...the only thing really bugging me has to do with friends. It's a reoccuring thing in my life. Friends who aren't around anymore, friends who get new friends and don't need me...it's just hard. I have so many just general "friends" but no one that I'm extremely close to. It's hard to watch others around me get closer and want that for myself but it just doesn't seem to happen. Plus, after an activity we did in our last staff meeting, I found out there is SOMEONE out there who wants to get to know me better, but I don't know who that is. Talk about frustrating! It's hard to get to know someone better when you don't know who that person is. If you've ever done "Touch the head" before you know what I'm talking about...if not than never mind. But basically I've just kinda been bogged down with friendships lately, getting hurt, being lied to...and it would be really nice to be spending quality time with people who care. That's just a little of what's been on my mind.

Well enough of all that! Goodness...I have a TON of math to do, some speech, reading and studying...so off I go!

:) Good times

2005-01-14T02:01:00.000-08:00

It's been a truy amazing end to an interesting week. Today I had Subway, found my Starbucks card, and had no classes. Could it possibly get better? Why yes, it could, and it did.

I cleaned my room, which is a miracle. I even vacuumed...crazy. That's good for me. Then I looked through pictures for a long time and found a lot that made me smile very big :) I love looking and pictures and enjoying the memories that flood out. Definitely good times right there.

I'm also very excited because I bought this shimmery bright pink eye make-up and it just makes me very happy. It doesn't take much to amuse or please me.

I've also busted out some of my older cds that I haven't listened to in a while and thoroughly enjoyed that. Such good times.

Add that all to the fact that I am dancing in the spring dance concert!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAY exciting. I don't even have to tryout! Yay! I am for sure in a tap number. And I will be going home this weekend and spending LOTS of time with Allison and Nakiva and Jeffrey which will be great.

Then there is the fact I have decided not to reapply to be an RA...I am totally at peace with that. It's a crazy job and a WONDERFUL experience with an EXCEPTIONAL staff...but if I got a hall like I have this year, I don't think I could handle another year. Plus, I have something else in mind...something new to try. I'm really excited.

Welllllll...it is 2am and I do have to drive home tomorrow, er, today, so perhaps I should get to sleepy. I just wanted to write down my happy day so I will not soon forget! If I have a bad day I can read this and remember that pictures are good, pink is good, music is good, and free coffee is GREAT! Oh and Kyle still owes me coffee for the back massage I gave him...

Oh boy...

2005-01-11T23:34:00.000-08:00

WoW I had an amazing evening...really I did. And it all just almost came crashing down because of a few words...it's funny how important language is. Because of it, my night was wonderful and yet at the same time, language almost ruined my night. But I'm trying to be okay...we can't base our importance or worth on what people say or think about us. I mean, we've all talked bad about someone before, and we've all had someone talk about us before. It happens. We're human. So I'm not gonna let it get me down. Not after having a great night. As easy as it would be to be upset, I'm putting all my effort into being okay.

So off I go to think about happier things than people badmouthing me...

???

2005-01-11T20:53:00.000-08:00

Life is crazy.

I've been very up and down the last few days. Bad things happen, good things happen. Do I reapply for the job or not? Do I live on or off campus? Work, school, friends...so may things to think about.

I think that relationships need work, but from both sides. In many of my relationships I feel like I'm the only one trying. It's frustrating and unfair...so do you just let go? Do you give up, do you talk to the person...even if you're already talked to them? So many decisions, so many things to think about. But I know I need to think about what's best for me, not just what's best for the people around me. Too often I throw my own feelings aside and end up getting hurt. I can't keep doing that.

My body aches right now. My shoulders and back from doing "wings." I performed a tap dance at open mic night and it was nuts. I had to remember a dance I did 2 years ago, and make up some new stuff for it. I'm happy with the way it went. But I'm definitely sore from practicing so much last night. I basically had 24 hours to get ready and that was NUTS! But it was fun and I'm glad I did it. I've been told I have to tap at every open mic night now...geez...

After the dancing I came to my hall and hung out w/ the girls who were rearranging rooms. Next on the agenda I have some chill time and then the basketball game...my loyalties are rivals. It's my boyfriend's team versus my RA buddies team. So I'm gonna go and watch and not cheer anyone. It'll be fun though.

All right, time to go think some more about so many things...and hopefully clean, maybe read, sometime sleep...

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

2005-01-08T18:01:00.000-08:00

Just needed to yell. I feel better now. If only I could lash out at a few certain people, I may even feel better...

Grumbling

2005-01-04T17:43:00.000-08:00

Don't you love it when people say they are going to call you and they don't? Cause I love it. Oh so much. Makes me seel so warm inside...k I'm not bitter or anything. Right.

On a happier note...first 2 days of classes went well. Math is going to be very interesting...probably slightly difficult, not a lot of guidence from the teacher. Rock music was a little random but I'm still excited. The speech class, interpersonal communication, sounds really sweet so far. English I know will be wonderful because I love the prof and tap...well it's tap, that's all I need to say.

Things are busy already. I have many due dates coming up...applications, write-ups for my winter experience, all that good stuff. Lots to do so I'm glad for now classes on Thursdays...that will have to be my catch up day this term.

Well I'm off. I have a girl checking out and then a meeting later...and I need to clean my room up, pass around surveys...yada yada yada.

Chapstick and chapped lips and things like chemistry

2004-12-30T21:09:00.000-08:00

WoW it's been a while since I've posted anything...winter break has turned out much more busy for myself than I expected. I thought it would be a nice time to relax, see friends...but neither of those things have really happened. Getting sick really didn't help. Then you throw in Christmas, a trip to Washington for my great-grandpa's 90th birthday, and 4 days on staff for a youth event in Portland, and your break is pretty much gone. But at least I'm having fun right?

I would have to say that the youth event in Portland ranks as one of my fav parts of break. I spent the 26th-30th as part of "Team Barnabas." 1100 high schoolers from all around the northwest came to Portland for Winter Youth Celebration and stayed at the Doubletree hotels the 27th-30th. My job was to help direct students to their various locations in both hotels and help keep the noise level down, among other various tasks. Basically the students attend various sessions and seminars to learn about God. It was definitely an eye opening experience in many ways for me, as I saw changes in my own life as I helped staff the event. My youth group from Newport was there and it was awesome to spend time with them. The rough part was only sleeping from about 2am-6am and then walking around all day long. I hurt my achilles tendon last night and was limping. Eric, another Barnabas member, carried me up the stairs to continue our "patrolling" of the hotel since the stairs hurt too much. It basically reminded of being an RA and going on rounds...just walking the halls, knocking on doors...great fun. But overall I loved the event.

I did have 2 comical moments...one is definitely my most embarrasing moment that I really don't feel like sharing but if you MUST know then ask me about it and I'll explain...but now for the funnier moment. The first night we were there I was asleep as soon as my bed hit the pillow, I was exhausted. I was sharing a bed w/ a girl named Shannon that I had never met before, which was a little strange. In the middle of the night I felt something grab my foot, and my mind immediately jumped to it being my dad because sometimes he comes in my room really early and bugs me. So I decided to kick my dad as hard as I could. I kick with all my might and I hear this quiet little "sorry" and then I was like CRAP I'M SHARING A BED WITH A STRANGER AND I JUST KICKED HER AS HARD AS I COULD. I mumbled sorry as well and went back to sleep. I woke up and when I remembered what happened, I felt like a total idiot and explained to her I thought she was my dad. Good times...

Now I'm completely exhausted and my mind is mush. I remember I did other things since I last posted...finished my week at Sam Case (and loved it!), then went to Washinton w/ my family and enjoyed 14 hours in the car with them in a 2 day period. I saw Shelley and went to tea w/ her, her mom, and my mom before Tea and Tomes closed down. I spent a day w/ Amber too since she's back from Canada. Then there was Christmas which was interesting in many ways I won't go into...the only thing I'll really say is that family is so complex, and I don't know why it has to be that way...eh...I'll contemplate that another day.

Definitely time for bed now...my own bed that I'm not sharing with a stranger! Such a wonderful thing...

A good for nothing hatred

2004-12-13T16:04:00.000-08:00

I despise Joe Rau.

I don't want to say I hate her because that would be too easy, and I want to use my words more. So I despise her...

Okay, I have to admit something...her name is actually spelled Jo Rauch. But I just wanted to spite her and spell it wrong because 1) She has NEVER spelled my name right, and 2) She HATES when people spell her own name wrong...ironic, right? Well, she is the PE teacher for Sam Case Elementary where I am currently doing a Winter Experience. She became my PE teacher in third grade and I've hated her since. Maybe it was because I had Mrs. Holly before her and she was so much nicer...but anyways...

Jo Rauch has always hated my family...my mom, my brother, and me. I don't even know why. She would give me B's in her class...I mean, elementary school PE! I always wore the right clothes and shoes, I was always in class and I did what I was supposed to. I had straight A's minus her class. When my mom talked to her she couldn't give her any reason why I got a B. She just hated us. She always treated my mom and I rudely, like we were mentally retarded. On top of that, she would always spell my name wrong on achievements, like the ones we got for jogging certain amounts of laps. She always spelled my name "Mandy Olson" even though it's written on her stupid roll sheet as "MandI OlsEn." I mean, if I was giving someone a certificate I would want to spell their name right. But she would always spell at least one of my name's wrong. Sometimes both, sometimes one or the other. It made no sense.

So today I'm at the school and I take the class I'm with to PE...of course, in much anticipation about seeing the lovely Mrs. Rauch herself. She begins telling them about the new rock wall they have put in the play porch and all the rules that go with it. I am just standing in the back listening. She gets to the part where she tells them there must be an adult present to go on the wall. She looks directly at me and goes "They must be a teacher, NOT some teacher's aid...it must be an ADULT!" and just stares me down. The way she said adult made me cringe. I know it doesn't sound that bad, but if you know my background with her and saw the look, you'd be gagging too. So I walked out of the play porch and wandered around the school for a bit. When Mrs. Clark, the teacher I'm with, came back from her house, she saw my look of disgust and said "walk with me." She knows me well because she was my fifth grade teacher, and I volunteered in her class every day my senior year. Anyways, I told her what happened and she was just like "I don't know what her trip is...geez...that shouldn't happen" and proceded to get pretty pissed off. Apparently no one likes her much at the school. I can't imagine why...ha.

Other than that, my day at the school was great. It was definitely weird to be on the other side, as in with the teachers instead of a student at the school. I ate lunch in the staff lounge with the teachers and it was so odd. But I enjoyed it a lot and I know I'm going to love the rest of the week. :)

Rocky Creek adventures

2004-12-12T15:34:00.000-08:00

What an adventure. I never knew that getting a Christmas tree could be this...much trouble. Or this adventurous. Then again, everything in my family is more abnormal than it should be.

It all started with someone saying "we should go out in the woods and cut down a tree oursevles." Joy. Apparently that's what my dad and brother did last year and we ended up with one funny looking tree. So my mom decided we could all go this year. All right, I thought, this could be kinda fun. Some family friends of ours, Jeff and Katie, and their baby Hailey were gonna go too. But last night my mom got sick and was throwing up all night, so she didn't go. Then Cody goes off and invites a friend so I find myself in a truck with my dad, my brother, and his friend Ace. We head for Rocky Creek, which I am sure no one knows exists. We drive for about half an hour, taking about 18 different roads until I am so lost I don't know up from down. My dad also thought it was funny to slide around in the mud on the way there, which he know I don't like. I'm sorry, but would you enjoy sliding across the road in the mud having no control of the vehicle when there is an enormous cliff to your left? I don't think so. So I ask him to stop...well he doesn't. He decides it's okay with me to do if it's not by a cliff, even though I asked him to stop. So I'm starting to get a little pissed. Cody and Ace are getting mad at me for ruining their fun. Then they decide to make fun of my car...and they just keep going and I'm getting more pissed. They make fun of me all the time, and it usually doesn't bother me, but I wasn't in the best mood. This road sucked and my back already hurt and this made it hurt more. Then of course since they are boys, we have to drive around with the windows down so with a wind chill factor it's about 30 degrees in the truck. Wonderful. To top it all off, my dad runs through a mud puddle much deeper than he anticipated. Keep in mind that we are in an F350 truck, with HUGE tires and a lift. So this truck is huge. As we drive through the mud puddle, nasty muddy water splashes all across the windshield. And since the idiot boys had the windows open, this lovely muddy water splashed through the window and all over me...and my white coat. I was super thrilled about that, let me tell you.

We finally get out to find the perfect tree. We trek down a steep hill with grass to my knees where I can't see if ground even exists. Fun. Eventually we get trees, I talk to Katie for a bit, I pee in the woods, and we leave. But it was over an hour before we got home. Why? Because I was with my dad..."yeah I know where this road goes, we can come out at Caramel Knoll (wherever that is). But then after about half an hour he's like "uhh...well I don't know where this goes, let's go left." There were so many forks in the road I was figuring we were gonna spend the night out there, and we would have to use the shotgun to find food. Sweet deal. But we eventually got outta there (not through Caramel Knoll though...) and got home with our lovely tree from the woods that we cut down very illegally. So much excitement for one day.

I am actually supposed to be with someone right now...way to say "yeah I'm not doing anything" and then I call and you are...I love when that happens.

Other than that, not too much going on. I spent my first 2 nights back in Newport at my house and it's looking like I'm going for night 3 here. Friday I was exhausted and wanted to stay home. Last night I thought my brother would be here since our parents were gone, but he left so I stayed home alone. I decorated the house, made 2 wreaths for my mom, and started making a scarf which I hope to finish within the next few days. I know that the rest of break will be busy so I guess I should enjoy being here. YUM my mom just brought me sugar cookie dough...I love that stuff. Now I'm gonna go get something to drink and then...I dunno maybe work on my scarf...peace

From hairdos to halo

2004-12-10T03:51:00.000-08:00

WOW...what a day! So much has happened. It seems like days ago I took my psychology test, but really it was 10:00 this morning. I think it went well, which is good. That was the last of my finals...I still have a group project presentation tomorrow...well today I guess.

After the test I ate lunch and took care of LOTS of business within my RA job...getting reimbursed, running to OUR twice, calling Galen a ton of times, and finally got everything with finances and residents worked out. I had some free time after that so I turned it into ME time...I painted my nails, put on make-up, and curled my hair...I hadn't done any of that in a while. Part of it was just for kicks, and part because I wanted to look nice anyways tonight for our holiday banquet for the staff.

Then it was time for a QUICK run to Wal-Mart with Jess, Melissa, and Kari. I had to buy the last gift for my "secret believer" and I also wanted to get some presents for the staff. That gave me less than an hour before the banquet, which turned out to be a BLAST. The theme for the night was based on the Polar Express. We ate a super good dinner, followed by Wish, Toast, and Cheer. Each of the RA staffs (Landers, which is my building, Heritage, and the Quad) plus RHA made up a wish they have for the season, a toast to someone, and some sort of cheer. Afterwards 3 staff members read a story they made up using the names of every staff member, which was fun. Then the senior staff acted out the Polar Express for us, which was hilarious. Finally, someone ran in with a shopping cart FULL of presents, one for each of us. It was crazy! Apparently they got ahold of our parents and had them send a present for us as a surprise...it was awesome! My mom sent me Shrek 2 which made me happy.

After that excitement I was on duty till midnight, but ended up in the office much later. Carlson, one of the public safety officers, was quite bored and talked to Melissa, Jenni and I until 2:3o when we decided we needed sleep. We all ended up online talking and decided to go play Halo in the staff office. I've never played before so they gave me a 30 second lesson and I went for it. It was quite exciting...I definitely gave them some things to laugh about. However, I was proud of my 13 kills in my first little session. I kept talking about how I "couldn't steer" which cracked them up. Anyways, it was quite fun. At 3:30 the 3 of us were like okay...bed...but we started talking about how it would be fun to play real halo in Landers cause the building is set up all cool for that, so we started hiding behind brick walls and bushes and "shooting" each other and "throwing granades." It was so freaking hilarious. We finally calmed down and went to bed...well, Melissa went to bed. Jenni's still online and I am obviously. I'm kinda wound up though...okay, need to be tired, need to settle down...

There was something kinda sucky that happened today...not just today, it's ongoing, but today I just had to deal with it more. A bad friend situation...gone very bad. Basically I think I lost my best friend. I don't really know how to feel...I'm half still in shock, half upset...I'm very up and down. I just feel like my friends are so up and down...some days I have a lot and some days I don't have anyone to turn to. But I know that I'll be okay...things will be okay, even if she does walk out of my life. Someday she'll realize that I did care about her and how much she meant to me, but by then I'll probably have moved on. I'm not really sure if anything I just typed makes sense cause it's almost 4 and I've been up since around 8 this morning, and I'm definitely not going off much sleep overall for the week, but I'm in a very good mood considering all that's happened with this friend, and I'm so thankful for my staff hanging out with me tonight. It definitely put light on a cloudy day...thank you Jenni and Melissa, for hanging with me tonight. And thanks Jessie for hanging with me too! Landers staff rocks.